


Chained Up

by Graymalkyn



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Consensual Sex, Flashbacks, Flirting, M/M, Open Relationships, Promises, Secrets, Slight crackshipping, older than canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-05-13 06:26:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14743664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graymalkyn/pseuds/Graymalkyn
Summary: In dire need of money to pay for his mother's medical bills, Mo Guan Shan takes a job at The Cage, He Tian's private club. From the very beginning, his attraction to He Tian is strong. Being with him, however, isn't as easy as he hopes, due to a secret arrangement between He Tian and Zhan Zheng Xi, and the one that unwittingly binds them together - Jian Yi.





	1. Prologue: Wander

As soon as he stepped off the bus, Mo Guan Shan put on a black cap and slung the backpack he was carrying over his shoulder.

“What the hell is this place? This is the middle of nowhere,” he muttered to himself as he checked the piece of paper with an address and a name. He checked his phone. _No service._ "Shit, I can’t even use the GPS." Now he’d have to ask around if he wanted to find the place. He glanced about him and spotted an old map. He trotted lightly to the board where it was pinned and quickly located the _You-Are-Here_ arrow. His final destination was at the harbor and he had quite a long way ahead. _There may be an inn where I can spend the night._ He needed some rest after riding the bus for almost a whole day. “Ah, fuck. I’ll call him from wherever I stay and tell him I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Going off the beaten path, he could smell the fresh air with a hint of the ocean. There were some seagulls flying overhead. Their squarking was the only sound around him - that, and the distant waves. He read the name on the paper again. _“Just say the name; they’ll know,”_ He Tian had told him, leaving a kiss on his forehead.

 _I should start thinking what I want to make up for this long-ass trip,_ Guan Shan thought. A massage session? Perhaps a weekend getaway. The truth was that he’d be satisfied with a night out, away from the club and especially from Zhan Zheng Xi and Jian Yi _._ There had to be a limit to how much they should hang out together…

“I must be getting close to the sea,” he noted as he felt the breeze turning cooler. A line of boats greeted him from the small harbor. “Number 19… El Dorado… ” He looked around and found it bobbing gently, guarded by an old man wearing thick glasses. “Excuse me, I’m looking for El Dorado?”

The man squinted and smiled. “Take off your cap.”

Guan Shan frowned, but he took it off and passed his fingers through his light bronze hair. Was that guy supposed to have some facial recognition thing in those glasses? “So? Do you know this guy?” he asked, waving the slip of paper.

“Hop on,” the man nodded.

Guan Shan squinted at the shabby boat. “Where are you taking me?”

The man pointed to a small island. “El Dorado,” he grinned. “The villa on top of those cliffs.”

 

* * *

 

“This way, Mr. Mo,” a woman said as she showed him into a huge living room overlooking the sea. She brought a box out of a safe and left it on the table. “The password for this is what you hate. I’ll leave you to it.”

Guan Shan nodded and waited until the door had been closed to press the date of his birthday. Official-looking papers with Guan Shan’s name on them marked him as the owner of the house now. There was more: the invoice of the hospital debt, now cancelled, and new credit cards from a foreign bank. Underneath it all, there was a flash drive just like the one He Tian was always fidgeting with. _Watch me_ , it seemed to say. Guan Shan took it and plugged it into the TV. There was one file and he selected it. The image of He Tian came into view. He was sitting on that L-shaped couch of theirs that he loved so much. 

 _Wait a minute - that shirt..._ He remembered that day, a few weeks before. 

On the screen, He Tian cleared his throat. “Little Mo…” he said, his voice unbearingly gentle.

A chill went down his spine. “What...?”

“Don’t hate me for this,” He Tian said. He passed his fingers through his hair and tried to keep the smile on his lips. “You’ve just told me this is the lamest cliché ever, but there was no other way to do this. So... ” He took a deep breath.

“No, no, fuck NO!” Guanshan rushed to the door, but it had been locked from the outside.

“Pup… If you’re watching this, it means that I’m---”

“OPEN THIS DOOR!” he screamed. “LET ME OUT! LET ME OUTTA HERE!”

His banging went on for a long, long time, drowning He Tian’s voice until it could no longer be heard. If he shut his ears to those words, then maybe they wouldn’t be true.

If he refused to believe it, then…

 

*** * * * * * * * * * * ***

 

****


	2. Straight through me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mo finds The Cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Bisho for providing the art for this story - as well as her thirst for TianShan. (Yeah, I had to say it. Sorry XD) If you haven't read the original post where this comes from, here it goes: https://graymalkyn.tumblr.com/post/173909336881/coughs-excuse-me-while-i-fan-myself-you

**_(220 days before)_ **

 

The door flung open and he stormed out. It was raining heavily outside and he didn’t have an umbrella. “Fuck!” he screamed, kicking a trash can. The backstreet was empty and the sound of the metal rang in his ears for far longer than he could wish. He started to walk away when he felt the door opening once more.

“Mo Guan Shan, wait!” Chan Weilo called out to him. He came out with a tattered umbrella and gave it to Guan Shan. “Sorry about that, bro,” he apologized. “But I told you to stay quiet. If you'd just played along---”

“How the fuck am I supposed to stay quiet when that dickhead accuses me of stealing?!” Guan Shan shouted. “You know I wouldn’t do that, and we all know it was him all along!”

“Of course I know!” Weilo said. “But what did you think would happen? He’s the boss’s nephew; did you really think the boss would have your back?” He looked down and noticed Mo’s clenched fists. He knew that losing one of his jobs would mean a huge setback for his pocket, especially after what had happened to his mom… “Listen, I can talk to my cousin,” Weilo said. “He works at a bar in the entertainment district. Perhaps they’re looking for a dishwasher, or a prep cook---” He got startled by Mo’s hands suddenly squeezing his arms.

“Can you do that?”  

Weilo sighed. He’d never seen that kind of desperation in his friend’s eyes before. _Things must be even more dire than I thought._ “I can try.” Another squeeze. It seems as if it was his heart that was being wrung, though, seeing Mo’s lips trembling slightly - it had been a fleeting gesture, but it had been there.

“Anything helps, man,” Guan Shan said, much calmer than he’d been a minute ago. “I… I’d owe you one.”

“You owe me several already,” his friend huffed. He patted him on the arm. “But it’s okay. I’ll send you the address tonight.”

 

* * *

 

Guan Shan frowned at the screen and then back at the marquee. _The Cage_. Was this the place? He looked around, but he found no other entrance than the front one. A heavy wooden door closed behind him, and he found himself walking down a red-carpeted corridor. “Hello?” he called out when he got to what seemed to be the main hall. “Anybody here?”

A white-haired man came out to greet him. “Where did you come from? The try-outs took place yesterday, but... Oi, He Cheng!” he shouted to someone inside the room. “There’s a guy for you here!”

“Is he hot?” a deep voice asked from within.

The white-haired man gave Mo a look of appraisal. “More your type than mine.”

He Cheng came out of the room and sized Mo up with a long, hard stare. “Natural redhead? You definitely know me, Qiu,” he nodded at the other man. “So, Redhead: what’s your talent?”

“My talent?”

“Yeah, your speciality. Pole, lap, hoops, silks, choreo?”

Mo could feel waves of blood rising and falling within him, flustering him. He was sure his face was on fire. _Chan Weilo, where the fuck did you send me?_ “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. Of course he knew. One look at the place and it was enough to tell what sort of club that was, with that stage surrounded by little, intimate tables. And the poles. Yeah. The poles should have been a big fucking clue. Not that he had anything against that, but he just wasn’t that kind of person...

He Cheng raised an eyebrow. “Really? ‘Cause you definitely have the body for working the pole or do choreos… But suit yourself. You don’t seem to be interested in that, and we’re not really looking for another position. Close the door when you leave,” he said, turning around to go back into the room.

“Wait a minute!” Mo clenched his fists and took a step forward. “My friend Chan Weilo sent me here to work in the kitchen. I can do anything… in the kitchen.”

“We should lock those carrots away, then. He’s probably kinkier than he looks,” Qiu smirked.

“What? No, I mean wash dishes, be the fry cook or the caller - as long as it’s in there---”

“Take a look around, boy. Do you really think people come here to eat?” He Cheng asked, tilting his head. “If they come to eat, it’s not food they’re after. The staff we have for our kitchen is more than enough.”

“But if you're a cook... Maybe he’s looking for _Spring_ ,” Qiu commented. “Chan Weilo sent you, you said? He’s probably Chan Fei’s cousin...”

“Yes, that’s the name!” Guanshan confirmed, relieved.

“Ah, then you want the restaurant on the other side of the street. Give me your phone. I’ll show you how to get there, then,” Qiu offered.

“It’s a pity,” He Cheng sighed. “We were still looking for a part-timer for some special days. We’d have paid you three times as much as you’ll earn in that place. But I guess this job is not for everybody…”

 _Three… What? Three times…?_ Mo swallowed hard. “I guess… I could help with the bar.”

“Really? The bar’s my thing,” Qiu said. “Do you know anything about mixology?”

“Not much. But I’m a fast learner when it comes to---”

“Would you serve tables?” He Cheng asked, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning him around.

“I guess I could if it was necessary.”

“Hmmm… And would you wear a costume while doing so?” Cheng murmured in his ear as his fingers trailed down his back.

Once again, Mo’s blood rushed to his face and he clenched his teeth to avoid throwing a punch at the guy who was feeling him freely. “It… depends.”

He Cheng dropped his hands and stepped back. “You’re that desperate, huh.”

 _Fuck._ That was the only thing he didn’t want to admit - not even to himself. But the thought of his mother, and the hospital bills... “Yes,” he managed to produce.

“What do you think?” Cheng asked Qiu. “Looks like he’ll clean up nicely...”

“When the boss is away, it’s up to you to recruit,” Qiu shrugged. “I don’t think he’ll object. And he looks fine to me - smart enough for me to skip the babysitting part. And _that other guy_ will be pleased if there’s someone else to work the bar, since now he’ll be extra busy with the security part. We could give him a trial period.” He turned to Mo. “How does that work for you, Redhead?”

 

* * *

 

Wake up at 6, start preparing the service at 7, have lunch before the first rush of clients popped up, rest for an hour, get back to it. Once the evening rush was over, Guan Shan would run round the corner, put on his uniform (striped pants, white crisp shirt, and suspenders - He Cheng had teased him with a pair of garter belts that Mo had quickly stored in his locker), and get ready for the night. _The Cage_ wasn’t open till late, and from what he’d seen, its audience consisted of either young women or hordes of divorcees, eager to get a dose of young men. When he waited on them, the older ladies pinched his cheeks and the younger ones groped his ass, and he could feel a vein popping every time they did so. Soon, however, he realized that the regulars were good tippers, and the general atmosphere of the club was way better than the suffocating heat of the kitchen.

“Momo, they brought the new margarita and martini glasses today. Can you take them to the storage area?” He Cheng said as he gave him the key to the north wing. He seemed to be busier than usual that day, barely sparing a thought for anybody as he went back and forth between his office and the lounge room.

“What’s up with him today?” Mo asked Qiu, who was going through the list of supplies for the third time. “And you too. You two are usually way more relaxed.”

“This is the way things are when we start preparing for an event. Still, you know that saying, ‘when the cat’s away, the mice will play’? Well, turns out the cat has returned. The fat cat, I mean. Boss is back.”

“Ah. Oh, wait. I’m still on trial, right? Shit.” Guan Shan leaned on the counter. “What kind of guy is he? Is there anything I should do to make him like me?”

“I don’t know, Redhead. You could try wearing those garter belts---”

“Fuck off. I’m serious.”

“Well…” Qiu shrugged. “It’s hard to tell with that guy. He either likes you, or he doesn’t. Pretty much the opposite of He Cheng. If He Cheng thinks you have any value, he’ll stick up for you,” he said, patting Mo on the shoulder. “Ah, but Boss rarely listens to his brother. That’s why He Cheng’s so agitated today. The one you’ll have to suck up to, if Boss doesn’t like you but you still want a chance to stay, is Zheng Xi.”

“Who’s Zheng Xi? Never met him.”

“Let’s just say he’s the only one that can change Boss’s mind.”

Guan Shan blinked. “Are you even trying? I feel like I’ve learned nothing.”

“Do I look like a fucking teacher?” Qiu laughed. “Don’t get so nervous. You just do your job and the boss won’t eat you.” He tilted his head in the direction of the storage area. _“Now go.”_

“Fine, fine.” Guan Shan picked up the first box and pushed the door open with his hips. For those two grown-ass men to start acting like that, the boss had to be scary as fuck. He had the feeling that he’d be one of those old mobsters you saw in movies, wearing a pinstripe suit and his hair slicked back. He shuddered. No fucking way he was going to wear lingerie for an old geezer.

He was about to walk down the corridor when he stopped in his tracks. There was music coming out of the studio, but he knew that the dancers wouldn’t be there for at least one hour more. He gripped the box and leaned against the door, which had been left ajar.

_“The end of you was me / My fantasy will swallow everything / It will change everything…”_

Hanging from the ceiling of the dimly lit studio there were two black silks, and a man leaned forward through them, as if he were emerging from them. He twirled around a few times, following the heavy beat of the music, and then freed his long legs from a ribbon. His hands slid down the silks up to his hips and he leaned backwards, raising one of his legs and flipping back effortlessly.

_“I’ll give you myself / So give yourself back to me...”_

Guan Shan couldn’t take his eyes off those arms, tense and yet graceful, both tied and caressed by those ribbons. The man's presence was intoxicating, as if he were the music and the dance, the binder and the bound. The way in which he moved his legs made it look as if he were underwater, in a world of his own, and Mo felt the pull toward his overwhelming aura…

And then the man grabbed one of the silks and pulled too hard, and it came loose.

Guan Shan saw, as though it were slow motion, the man falling down. Before he knew it, the box he’d been carrying was dropped with a loud smash, and he was rushing forward. “Hey! Are you o---” His foot was caught on something and he tripped and landed on his face, on a mat that had been down there all the time and he'd failed to notice. “Owww, fuck…” he groaned, rubbing his nose. He remembered the man and glanced down. The man was staring at him, a curious look in his dark eyes.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asked. His voice was gravelly but it sounded almost gentle.

“You didn’t get hurt?” Guan Shan asked, kneeling.

“No, it was calculated. I was losing the rhythm, and if I slid down, I might have burned my foot.” The man looked back at the door. “Meanwhile, are those the new martini glasses in the box you dropped? Well, I guess it’s ‘were’ now...”

“Oh no, shit!” Guan Shan scrambled to his feet and ran to check the wreckage in the box. “Fuuuck! Argh! Why the fuck---” He turned to the man. “What am I gonna do now?!”

“You should probably pay for them,” the man said as he stood up.

“But it wasn’t my fault, asshole! If you hadn’t fallen like that---!”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have been staring at me so intently. I swear I could feel your gaze on me... Speaking of which: why were you looking? Never seen aerials before?” The man grinned as he took a towel and wiped the sweat off his bare chest.

Guan Shan swallowed hard and shook his head. “No… I didn’t know there was someone here who could do them.”

“There’s two of us,” the man said, “but we only bring them out for special events.”

“Ah yes, Qiu did mention something taking place soon.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway, I’m glad you’re not hurt, but…” He frowned at the contents of the box. “Shit… I was really counting on that extra money from the event.”

The man tilted his head and smiled. “Give it here,” he said, taking the box off his hands and hiding it behind a pile of mats. “There. No witnesses, no crime.”

“Yeah, well, that won’t work,” Guan Shan said, grabbing the box once again. “I still have to come clean with the boss if I want to keep working here. I hope he doesn’t kill me.”

“Oh, he won’t - after all, you did it for a good reason.” The man's smile widened. He reached out and placed a hand on Mo’s head, ruffling his short hair warmly. “Good boy...”

 _Good boy?_ “What am I, a dog?” Guan Shan grumbled, moving the man’s hand away from his head. There was a certain heat coming from his body that was hard to ignore. “So... You work here only during the special events?” he asked casually.

That answer, however, never came, since Qiu dashed into the room. “What the fuck happened? Was that…? Redhead, did you drop the glasses?”

Before Guan Shan could reply, the man said, “It was my fault. I scared him.”

Qiu groaned. “Boss, seriously, stop playing those jokes.”

 _Boss?_ Mo’s eyes darted in the direction of the dark-haired man. “You...?”

“Nice to meet you,” he grinned. “I’m He Tian, the owner of _The Cage._ ”

 

*** * * * * * * * * ***

****

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (As you'll probably notice, I really wanted a story where Guan Shan fell in love first, deeper and harder. Also, I have a thing for tough guys behaving like mothers. Mafia mothers, I guess. That's why Qiu will be that kind of guy.)
> 
> That picture of He Tian's silks was made by @Bisho-s before reading the story, when we were discussing the roles they'd have (since He Tian and Jian Yi are the ones in charge of aerials). You can find it here: https://bisho-s.tumblr.com/post/172849071307/i-blame-graymalkyn-for-this-quick-sketch-of-he
> 
> As stated in the tags, this is a slightly older AU for the guys: they're in their early 20s. And as regards the setting, if you've read "Ordinary Men", it's kinda like that. Being men is not an issue when it comes to being together.
> 
> Not all the chapters will have mature elements, but those that do will be marked NSFW in the notes at the beginning of each chapter. Every chapter is named after bits of the lyrics of "Chained Up" by VIXX.


	3. Can't turn away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mo meets Zhan Zheng Xi and gets a glimpse of his relationship with He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW.

**(196 days before)**

 

Mo had the suspicion that he was just having a little crush on He Tian.

How could he not? He Tian paraded around the place practically naked almost every day, and his body… Shit, that body. The guy worked out and practiced from the moment he entered the club till opening hours. Then he’d take a shower and put on a white shirt and nice pants, and he’d circle the tables, making small talk with the customers in between the shows performed by the other guys. Guan Shan watched the older ladies melt every time He Tian gave them his boyish smirk, while the younger ones went _kyaaa~ kyaaa~_.

“Look at them,” Qiu scoffed. “Pretending to be all cute when they’re all so hungry. If Boss gave them an inch, they’d sure take the mile.”

“An inch or a mile? I wonder which one Boss has,” Guan Shan replied distractedly.

“Definitely a mile.” Qiu completed an order and placed the glasses on a tray. “Though I haven’t seen him naked for years. Though if he’s anything like He Cheng, yeah. A mile.” He laughed at Mo’s flustered face. “You really gotta do something about that habit of yours, Redhead. Nobody speaks their mind in this line of business. And don’t let Boss know you’re thinking about his dick. If you look like you want it, he might skimp on your next bonus and give you that instead, and you need the money. Table seven.”

Guan Shan looked dejected. “Ugh, it’s the weird drinks again. Who the fuck named these things?”

“I did,” Qiu said, resting his chin on his hand. “Well, He Cheng helped with the _Love Me Little_ one, but all the others are mine.”

Sighing loudly, Guan Shan scoped the room. Table seven was full of gropers. _Think of the tip, think of the tip, oh, He Tian’s talking to one of the old hags at table six; think of the tip, think of his---no, not that tip. Money money money,_ he repeated to himself till he reached the table. “Ladies, here are your drinks,” he smiled.

The women giggled and one of them waved her hand. “Ahem... Can you tell us what we got, ShanShan?”

 _Fuck my life,_ he thought, as he tried to muster a smile. “Very well. For the stunning lady in red, the… _Unicorn Orgasm_ . For the lovely twins, the set of _Love Me Little, Love Me Long and Hard_ …” He deftly laid the glasses on the coasters. He turned to the last woman. “And for you, my dear, the _Ride Me Like a Rodeo_ .” _Look at them, giggling like schoolgirls. Kill me now._ His thoughts were interrupted by a high-pitch squeal as one of the ladies grabbed He Tian’s hand while he was passing by.

“Oh, Boss!” she gave him a toothy grin. “This new kid is so cute! As usual, you have a great eye for guys...”

He Tian flashed her a smile and he wrinkled his nose a little, making Guan Shan’s heart skip a beat. “It wasn’t me who hired him, but Big Brother. A pity. I would have liked to see his performance during the tryout…”

“Oh my, Shanshan! You dance?” another lady exclaimed, resting her arm on Guan Shan’s hip. “Are you going to give us a show one of these days?” Her hand slipped a folded bill into Guan Shan’s pocket, and it was now making its way toward the back, when He Tian caught her by the fingers and brought them to his lips, leaving a kiss on her ring.

“I’m afraid he won’t be working on the stage.” He looked at Guan Shan from the corner of his eyes. “Not unless I get to train him first. Right?”

“Right…” Guan Shan mumbled. He gazed at He Tian. Would he really train him if he asked? But what could he do? Yeah, he could dance a bit, but well, he wasn’t particularly interested in putting on a show for anybody. Though that wasn’t necessarily true, but…

“Pup?”

Guan Shan jolted and stepped back as He Tian leaned over to draw his attention. “Yes?”

“Qiu’s waving at you,” He Tian said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t keep him waiting, okay?”

 

* * *

 

Okay, yes. It was definitely a crush.

That would explain the weird dreams he was having, in which He Tian would suddenly show up at his place and sit around, watching him make dinner, or just having coffee and smiling at him. Stupidly pure. He could dream about anything and yet… But it wasn’t the purity of the dreams that bothered Mo - it was the emptiness he felt when they were over. Every morning he’d wake up but he’d keep his eyes closed for as long as he could, because he knew that as soon as he opened them, that feeling of warmth that He Tian gave off would disappear.

For the past couple of weeks, Mo had come to admire him. He was handsome, funny, hard-working, caring, and he appeared to be wise beyond his years. He Cheng actually listened to him (and he rarely listened to anyone), and Qiu and the other guys were always taking care of him - not because he was the boss, but because he did the same for them. He always seemed to know who was struggling with what, and he always had time to listen to them.

“I do feel a bit like an outsider, though,” Mo said to himself as he walked to the train station. His phone started ringing. “Mom?” he replied immediately.

“Mo Guan Shan, it’s your mom’s nurse.”

 _Shit._ “Is she alright?”

“Yes, she is. She just couldn’t press your number. I’ll put you through.”

Every time he talked to his mother it was like a wake-up call. _You’re busting your ass for the money, don’t lose sight of your goal._ But if she hadn’t been able to call him herself, it meant she was getting weaker. Would he have enough time to collect what he needed?

“Guan Shan...”

“Mom! Are you alright? Why did the nurse---?”

“My hands were a bit numb and I couldn’t unlock the phone, haha. Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

“The hands now?” First the left foot, then the knees, all the way up to the hips, and now it was moving up. She already had a hard time relying on him and the nurse when she’d become unable to stand on her feet, but if the paralysis was spreading upwards, then… “Are you doing the exercises the doctor---?”

“It’s not always, so don’t worry! It’s just today, I promise!” Her voice was warm and clear, and she obviously didn’t want to create more problems for anyone.

“Let me know if you feel this way again. We’ll have to tell the doctor next week, okay?”

“Yes, yes. Guan Shan, you asked me what I wanted. Would it be possible to get me some documentaries? Now that I have more time for myself, I’d like to catch up with those.”

“I’ll get them for you tomorrow. Marine life or something related to the sea, right?”

“You know what I like,” his mother cooed.

“I love you, Mom,” he said, feeling a little sting at the back of his mind.

“I love you more,” she replied. “See you tomorrow.”

He hung up and stared at the phone. How many more months would they have together, he wondered. If only they could claim the insurance money for his father… No, he couldn’t count on that. Perhaps he could find something else for those days when the restaurant was closed. He was so lost in thought he didn’t notice the motorcycle pulling over in front of him.

He Tian took off his helmet and grinned. “Are you going to the bar? Hop on.” He handed him the spare helmet and waited for Mo to mount the bike. “Hold on tight.”

Ah, that wasn’t good. He wrapped his arms around He Tian’s waist and pressed his chest against that broad back. He was almost grateful for He Tian’s leather jacket - it felt cold and helped him get rid of any thoughts that would come up. The last thing he needed was a boner grinding his boss’s ass. He spent the ride thinking about movies for his mother.  

“We’re here. I’ll be parking in the rear,” Tian said. “You can go in before me.”

 _Ugh._ “I don’t have the keys and it’s a bit early,” Guan Shan replied.

“Alright then.” He turned round the corner and pulled over in a narrow alley. “By the way, Qiu told me about your mother. If there’s anything you need, just say so. We can help you find other doctors or a better clinic. And before you say you can’t afford it,” he said, raising his finger, “money is never an issue with me. If I have to pay you ten times more, I’ll do it.”

Guan Shan let out an incredulous laugh. “Why would you do that for me?”

“Qiu seems to trust you. And Brother likes you enough to have taken you in when we weren’t looking for someone like you.” He tousled Mo’s hair in a friendly gesture. “And I see you. You work harder than anyone else, even after spending the whole day running around a kitchen. I don’t know much about you, but I think you’re worth it.”

 _Oh, crap._ Guan Shan looked away. “Thanks, I guess.”

He Tian unlocked the back door and went in, chatting about the upcoming show for which he’d been practicing, but Mo’s thoughts were running wild and he barely listened, till He Tian said, “... my partner soon.”

“Partner?” he repeated.

“Ah, there you are,” He Cheng greeted his brother. He was sitting at the bar, having coffee with a young man. “And you brought Momo with you, good. Time for introductions. Zhan Xi, this is Momo, our new boy. And before you say anything, yes, we had him thoroughly investigated. Momo, this is Zhan Zheng Xi, former star of _The Cage_ , and our current head of security.”

The young man fixed Mo with his eyes, making him feel as if he were being scanned. He was good-looking; still, there was a cold air about him that made Mo shudder. But then his eyes turned to He Tian, standing beside Mo, and his gaze softened.

“Yo,” he said in a deep voice. “I’m back.”

He Tian didn’t say anything, but the look in his face was unlike any other Guan Shan had ever seen. _Ah,_ he thought. _That's what he said._

_Partner._

 

* * *

 

For the next couple of days, Guan Shan saw He Tian disappear into the studio whenever Zheng Xi came over. It wasn’t as if they were on their own all the time, though. The other guys also started showing up earlier. Not all of them would be taking part of the special event, but those who would needed to prepare something extra, and Zheng Xi was there to train them. Guan Shan got glimpses of their choreography whenever he passed by, and he was impressed by the precision and allure of Zheng Xi’s movements.

And yet, what always drew his attention was _that look_ in He Tian’s eyes.

He Tian was not a stage dancer, so he would just sit back and watch. Every time Mo passed by, he glanced into the room and there he would be, following Zheng Xi’s every move. Sometimes he’d nod and some other times he’d look deep in thought, as though he were making mental notes, and at the end of the day they’d get together and discuss their findings. The evening before the event, Mo was wandering around the corridor between the studio and the storage room when he heard them talking.

“I think Lay’s the best,” Tian was saying as he checked out his bare chest in the mirror. “Especially after that dance with the hat you showed them yesterday. He picked it up really well, so he should be fronting this time.”

Zheng Xi shook his head. “Kai’s been working hard for this for the past two months. His body is amazing, and if you’d taken a look at the profiles I got from our clients, you'd know they’ll be much more into his type than Lay’s.”

“The clients don't always know what's good for them. Muscles can be found in any other club. We’re selling them sensuality, not a quick fuck.” Tian laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, I like Kai’s body as much as the next person, but I bet Lay can get those old guys hard even before I come out.”

 _Old guys?_ Guan Shan frowned. He’d only seen women so far. Why would they be talking about men?

“You’re not afraid of him stealing your thunder?” Zheng Xi’s low voice had a hint of a tease that He Tian obviously picked up quickly.

“As if he could. Besides, all I have to do is this… Move my hips this way... Touch them a bit like this...”

What the fuck was going on in there? Guan Shan bit his lower lip and looked around. Nobody would be coming. He approached the door left ajar and through its slit he saw He Tian sitting astride Zheng Xi. His hands were sliding up Zheng Xi’s chest, and he was slowly rolling his hips against him. Guan Shan swallowed hard. He knew that he had to stop watching, but there was something in the way they were gazing at each other that bound him to that place.

Zheng Xi’s hands held him by the waist as he leaned forward, leaving a trail on Tian’s chest with his tongue. Tian’s fingers ran through Zheng Xi’s hair as he murmured something. Zheng Xi looked up and smirked.

“You don’t have your choker on.”

“I don’t care.”

“Then… Stand up,” he commanded.

He Tian obeyed without a word.

“I want you to unzip your pants and pull them down slowly, up to your knees.”

Mo’s eyes were wide open as he watched Zheng Xi’s hands on He Tian’s hips, stroking him lightly. He really wanted to walk away, but He Tian’s soft moaning had him rooted to his spot.

“Look at you, already dripping from a few licks… Are you gonna come as soon as I take you into my mouth?” Zheng Xi’s usually cold eyes were hazy with desire as his hand moved up and down He Tian’s shaft.

Guan Shan could feel the hard-on he’d have to hide from the others when he went back to the office. He had him long apron on, but it would be embarrassing if they saw him like that. He slipped into the employees’ restroom and locked the door behind him. His own hot breath was turning him on, and the image of He Tian’s arched back made him wet. As he stroked himself, he remembered every detail of He Tian’s tattooed skin, his form, his gravelly voice broken by his labored breathing… The hands that He Tian had slid over Zheng Xi’s chest…

He wanted all of that for himself.  

It didn’t take him long to come. He was sure now that whatever he felt was a massive crush, one that had seeped into his brain and wouldn’t calm down that easily.

That night, he couldn’t dream of He Tian the way he’d done it till that day.

 

*** * * * * * * * * ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys knew this would have some crackshipping... There's plenty of TianShan and XiYi later on, but let these guys be for the moment. (?)
> 
> Also, you might recognize the names of the other dancers, because I'm bad at naming random characters XD


	4. My controller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian Yi returns. Mo Guan Shan and He Tian have dinner together.

****_**(179 days before)** _

 

“Mo,” the chef called him as he was about to leave. “My sous is leaving right after New Year.” The man shot a hopeful look at Guan Shan. “I think it’s time you became a junior, so… Congratulations. You’ve earned the promotion fair and square.”

Guan Shan gave him a dead-eye look. “Chef, you just want someone familiar to work here full time. I’ve only been here for two months or so. I’m fine with prepping, and---”

“You have to stop selling yourself short. You cope well with the everyday pressure, and whenever there’s trouble, the boys rely on you. I’ll pay you double.”

“Because I’d be working double---!”

“Then triple.”

“I already earn triple at The Cage, and I get tips.”

“You also get your ass groped. Mo, you don’t wanna spend the rest of your life part-timing at the club, do you?” The chef leaned against the counter and folded his arms. “You wanna have a reputable job. And you’ve got the talent. You know this is what’s best for you. Your mother would agree, don’t you think? Why don’t you talk it over with her?”

“I’m not a kid, Chef.”

“To a mother, even a grown-ass guy is a kid. I know you’re doing this for her, so… Think about it, okay?”

 

* * *

 

“Ah, so that explains the long face you've had for a few days now,” He Tian said, raising Guan Shan’s chin with his long fingers. “I thought it was strange to see you so deep in thought that you didn’t even react to Brother patting your ass.”

“What the--- He did?”

“Mm-hmm. He left you some money, though.”

Mo fished into his back pocket and picked out a folded bill. “Eeeh, it’s true...”  

“Does he usually do that?”

“Touch my ass? No, I always see him coming, so no.”

“Hmmm.” He Tian finally sat at the bar and rested his head on his hand as he watched Mo getting ready to practice making a few drinks. “Don’t let him do it - at least not so freely. He’s the kind of guy who needs limits. He usually listens to Qiu, but Qiu can’t be around all the time.”

“Nah. He Cheng wouldn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want.”

“Really?” He Tian smirked. “How was it that he managed to get you to work here?”

Guan Shan opened his mouth only to shut it just as quickly. “Anyone would be seduced by that amount of money, especially when I needed it,” he grumbled.

He Tian laughed. “Keep your mind clear while you’re working here, Pup. It’s easy to be seduced in this kind of environment. Come to think of it, maybe your chef is right - the restaurant might be a better place for you.” He tapped the counter as he leaned forward. “Make me something light. I feel like drinking a little tonight.”

Mo frowned as he looked for a recipe that would suit He Tian. “Do you mean that?” he asked, not knowing exactly what he expected to hear. “Should I quit here?”

“Awww... Little Mo, are you pouting?”

“ _Little---?_ Who’s pouting? You’re pouting, your whole family’s pouting!”

He Tian cackled. “Just do what feels right. Life’s too short to worry about having a good reputation and things like that. Here today, gone tomorrow - that’s how we roll.”

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“Most of us at The Cage,” Zhan Zheng Xi replied. He was sitting beside He Tian, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Fucking chicken dick!” Mo exclaimed, startled. “Where---I didn’t hear you coming! Why are you skulking around? You’re being creepy!”

“I wasn’t skulking. Been here for a while. Also, are you sure you wanna use that language with me?”

“Ah, sorry, but you fucking scared me - I can’t control my mouth when that happens.”

“Interesting…” He Tian turned to Zhan Xi and poked him on the arm. “Hey, isn’t this your day off? Why are you here?” He tried to take the mug from Zhan Xi’s hands to no avail: Xi’s dodging skills seemed to be particularly tuned to avoid him. “Don’t be stingy, give me some...”

“Redhead is making you a drink, isn’t he? Leave my bitter coffee alone.”

“ _Blergh._ You can have it all then. But what’s with this dark mood?” He Tian asked, tugging at Xi’s earlobe playfully. “Got up on the wrong side of the bed? Or… _Oh._ Delivery today?” Zhan Xi glanced at him and let out a deep sigh, but he didn’t say anything. “So that’s why Qiu’s not here, I see. Well, it had to happen someday. How long has it been?”

“Two months and thirteen days.”

He Tian nodded absent-mindedly. “I thought so. Well, it wasn’t the longest time we haven’t seen him. He won’t be pissed at you, so don’t worry. I’ll cover your ass. But I suppose I should make myself scarce for a couple of days.”

“What’s being delivered?” Guan Shan asked. “A person? Is that even legal?”

“Legal- _ish,_ ” Zhan Xi replied. “You’d better get outta here while you can, Redhead.”

“He might be leaving soon - isn’t that right, Pup?” He Tian watched Mo prepare his drink. “He got a nice offer from the chef of _Spring_.”

“Is that so? Good for you, Redhead.”

“I said I still haven’t made up my mind. You guys can’t wait to get rid of me, do you? Especially you,” Mo scoffed, glancing at Zhan Xi, who gave him a shrug.

“If Boss says you’re good enough to stay, then you can stay.”

“That’s rich, coming from the guy who got me investigated twice,” Mo grumbled.

“That’s my job,” Zhan Xi replied.

“You keep forgetting that no matter what ‘Boss’ thinks, if the Queen says he should stay...” He Tian sighed.

“Well, we’ll find that out soon enough, won’t we...” Zhan Xi muttered, finishing his coffee. He turned around and watched the door, and before Mo could ask him what that was about, two bickering voices found their way to them.

The door burst open and in came a young man, closely followed by an obviously irritated Qiu. “Next time you should also bring the car to pick me up, Mama,” the man was saying as he took off his leather jacket. “Your driving isn’t so shitty with four wheels.”

“Annoying brat, I should have let you take the bus instead...”

“Yeah, right - as if Papa would ever forgive you if you did.” He turned around and his long blond hair seemed to shine bright against the darker atmosphere of the club. Guan Shan had never met a guy that seemed to have come right out of a hair care commercial like this one. He couldn’t help feeling a little dazzled.

“Is this the delivery?” Mo asked, more to himself than anyone else. He was barely aware that He Tian had turned to him, the shadow of a smile in his lips.

“Zhan! Zheng! XI!” the blonde guy ran toward the three men and koala-pounced Zhan Xi, whose arms were already open to receive him. “I missed you!” he exclaimed as he showered Zhan Xi’s face with kisses.

Mo blinked and turned to He Tian. What was going on? Wasn’t that guy jealous? He thought those two were in a relationship, but if he was seeing all this happening and he still had nothing to say… No, seriously - what the hell was going on? He wanted to ask him there and then. But He Tian merely watched the other two from the bar, his face unreadable.

The blond guy was murmuring something to Zhan Xi, who was nodding almost too meekly, but then his light amber eyes turned to He Tian and suddenly the temperature in the room seemed to drop.

“He Tian, you little shit,” the blond guy said with a grin that made Mo shudder. “Whose idea was to leave me behind?”

There was a long pause before He Tian answered, not before he exchanged a quick look with Zhan Xi. “Mine,” he said, his voice sounding oddly strained.

“I thought so,” the blond guy grinned as he hopped off Zhan Xi’s arms and went straight for He Tian, his fist stopping millimeters away from his nose. “Stop fucking with me! This is the last time I’ll forgive you! Next time I swear I’m gonna chop off your balls if you pull that shit again...”

He Tian’s lips curled into a smile. “How gracious, my Queen.”

“You’d better be grateful.” The amber eyes soon turned to Mo, who was mystified as to what those two were talking about. “Oh, so this is Redhead!” He gave Mo a friendly grin and offered his hand. “Mama told me a bit about y--OW!”

“Stop calling me Mama, brat!” Qiu said, slapping the back of his head. “You’d better get along with Redhead, Blondie. He’s a good kid.”

“Yes, yes, I heard you the other five times. By the way, I’m Jian Yi,” he said, shaking Mo’s hand warmly. “I heard you’re not a dancer. It’s a pity, you’ve got a great body, and your height is perfect for me. I think we’d look good together on stage… What do you say, He Tian?”

“He’s not interested in doing it.”

“What if we offer him more money? I need a new partner, Redhead,” Jian Yi whined. “Are you sure you don’t want to give it a try? You and me, and the silks...”

“Oh?” A deep voice made them turn their heads. He Cheng was smirking. “I’d like to see that.”

“Papa!” Jian Yi exclaimed, waving at him. “Isn’t it a great idea? I bet he’d look amazing in harlequin tights. Or something super colorful! I even have some ideas for the makeup: green, turquoise, even a dashing purple, all in the shape of a bandit mask - like a sassy raccoon!” He gasped. “ _Fingerpaint!_ Really wild and messy! Can I touch you---?”

“That’s enough, Jian Yi,” He Tian chimed in. “You’re gonna drive him away.”

“I for one am more than sold,” He Cheng said, rubbing his chin pensively.

“Your opinion doesn’t count,” Qiu replied. “You’re all a bunch of fuckers. Leave the kid alone.”

“Mama, you’ve changed,” Jian Yi said, wiping away an imaginary tear. “You actually care for someone...”

“Shut up, brat. He just makes my job easier.”

“Zhan Xi, can we go over the next request in my office?” He Cheng asked, walking away followed by Zhan Xi.

Jian Yi jumped onto Zhan Xi for a piggyback ride. “I’m coming over too!”

“Don’t put a strain on his back,” He Tian warned him. “He’s got to start working on a choreo with the guys tomorrow.”

Jian Yi looked over his shoulder and gave him a cat-like smile. “He Tian, why don’t you and Redhead go out for a meal together? Leave us alone for the rest of the night...”

He Tian folded his arms across his chest and let out a sigh. “Seriously, that guy… He’s gonna throw us off our pace if we let him. Just when things were starting to settle down…”

“Is he that troublesome? He seems… hyperactive, but not bad.” Guan Shan was still closely watching Tian. He wondered if he was bothered by the close bond between Jian Yi and Zhan Xi. When he’d seen Zhan Xi and He Tian together a few days before… There was obviously something going on between those two, but then _the other two_ … He shook his head and looked at He Tian.

“What are you thinking?” He Tian asked.

 _You and him. What’s the deal?_ He wanted to ask about it but he had the feeling that he’d be shut down. He Tian was being _friendly_ , but he wasn’t his friend. Not that he cared about that. He’d come to terms with the idea that what he wanted to get from that guy wasn’t precisely his friendship. Mo cleared his throat and asked, “Is that okay with you?”

“What do you mean?”

Mo took a deep breath. “Having dinner with me.”

He Tian raised his eyebrows slightly. “Why? Had anything in mind to offer me?”

 _Shit, so many things right now, and half of them involve eating._ “I can cook for you. I mean, unless you want to grab a bite somewhere...” _My neck is available._

Tian pondered for a while. “Is it okay if we stop by the supermarket first? I don’t think there’s something that hasn’t expired in my fridge. Unless you wanted us to go to your place?”

“I’m fine with anything,” Mo replied hastily.

“Okay, then… your place. That way I get to take you home as well,” He Tian smiled.    

 

* * *

 

“Need any help?” He Tian said, looking over Mo’s shoulder.

“You can lower the heat of the wok and add those vegs.” He was trying hard to ignore He Tian’s own heat at his back, but his brain kept coming up with erotic scenarios that somehow ended up in a fire hazard. He mentally kicked himself. _You can’t even fantasize properly, idiot._ “Stir them gently and every now and then give them a toss. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

“We barely had to buy anything. Do you often cook at home?” He Tian asked as he followed Mo’s directions. “I’d have thought you wouldn’t touch a knife after working at the restaurant most of the day.”

“It’s not what I like best, but I’m not bad. I have to make sure at least my mom’s share is ready, so… If I’m gonna cook for one, I might as well add stuff and cook for two.”

“I thought you lived with her.”

“I do, but right now she’s spending some time at the clinic.” Mo took off the lid of a second pot and scooped the soup. “Wanna try it? Let me know if it needs something else.”

He Tian blew on it softly and sipped it. His eyes opened wide. “It’s good!”

“Is it?” Mo scooped a little more and tasted it himself. “You like it like this?”

“It’ll go fine with the white rice, trust me.”

“You’re the guest, so as long as you’re okay with it…”

They finished getting everything ready and carried the dishes to the table. “Compared to what I can make, this is a feast,” Tian said, his eyes glittering in anticipation. “I’m utter shit when it comes to cooking.”

“I can believe it, from the way you stirred the food,” Mo smirked. “Start with the dumplings and right after, take a sip of beer. Both things will taste better.”

“Ah, I shouldn’t drink anymore, not if I wanna ride my bike home.”

Mo opened the can of beer and passed it onto He Tian. “You can stay over.”

“Are you sure?”

“My mom’s not here, so yeah. I’m sure.”

“Okay then.” He Tian leaned forward and opened his mouth. “Aaaah…”

“What’s…” Guan Shan blinked. “You want me to feed you?”

A smile danced in Tian’s eyes. “You said I was your highly esteemed guest.”

“That’s not what I said,” Mo replied, but he couldn’t help feeling both amused and excited over the idea of feeding that guy. He took one of the dumplings and slipped it between Tian’s parted lips, where it met his tongue.

“Hod! Wadda big one!” He Tian hummed, his mouth full.

“Yeaaah,” Mo said distractedly.

Tian chewed a bit more and said, “It tastes great, but it squirted in my mouth…”

“That sometimes happens, yeah.” Mo slid the beer across the table. “Go on. Take a sip while there’s still some of it left.”

He Tian obeyed him without question. He blinked, confused. “Woah… I thought it was going to be gross, but the smokiness of the pork and the bitterness of the beer make a nice pair.” He smirked. “If the other dishes are anywhere as good, I’ll marry you on the spot.”

 _How easy is this guy?_ Mo wondered as he silently garnished a mound of rice with some of the vegetables He Tian had helped him cook. “Try this now,” he commanded, bringing the bite close to Tian’s mouth. Once again, he parted his lips to receive him, letting out a pleased moan as he tasted the combination. “Either you’re starving or it’s really good,” Guan Shan commented, wondering if that guy was naturally submissive. The memory of Zhan Xi commanding He Tian was still fresh in his mind.

“I told you it was good,” He Tian said, licking the corner of his lips. “And it’s troublesome.”

“Why’s that? Because I’m good at something you’re not?”

He Tian leaned back and gazed at Mo over the can of beer. “You should probably take that job at the restaurant.”

Mo stared at him. “Is that a suggestion, or are you firing me?”

“Why would I fire you? I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then don’t say ambiguous shit.”

“But it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. You’re busting your ass to pay for your mom’s treatment, and---”

“It’s not really a treatment. I’m just making her comfortable before she dies.”

Tian watched Mo eat slowly as silence set in between them. “What can I do?” he finally asked. “I told you before; anything you need---”

“I---We don’t need anything else,” Mo replied with a shrug. “There’s nothing to be done for her. It could be years or months or weeks. Nobody knows. It’s a fucking disease that’s taking over her body and won’t let go, no matter how much money I make or how much she wishes to be bett---” Mo choked and coughed. He Tian passed him the beer and watched him drink it all. “Shit… Sorry. I’ll get you a new one.” He stood up and walked to the fridge, aware that He Tian’s eyes were still following him. “What.”

“The Cage... It wasn’t always there, you know. We haven’t been in this city for long, and I don't know...” Tian looked at the dishes as if he were wondering what to get next, keeping his tone trivial. “The truth is that one day we may just pack up and leave. Who wants to do that forever, right? That’s why at first I thought you should consider the offer…”

“I told you, I---” Mo stopped mid-sentence. “Wait - _‘At first’_?”

“I think you really like working with us,” He Tian grinned. “A lot.”  

“What the--- I’m doing it for the money! You’re all annoying, teasing jerks.”

“But you _liiike_ us.”

“You’re weird,” Mo grumbled, stuffing his mouth with food.

“Why? If you like us - if that’s what actually makes you happy, then you should stay. I still don’t know your mom, but I think that’s what she’d like to see - you being happy.” He Tian leaned forward. “So, if I tell you to stay, will you do it?”  

“Depends. What are you offering me?”

“I told you before: anything you want.”

Mo swallowed hard, surprised at the feel of his own heartbeat. The most terrifying thing of all that business was how serious He Tian’s eyes were. Deep down, he knew that he had to be joking. He knew that there was no reason why someone like that guy would offer him the world. And yet, why did he always sound like he could do anything? “I’ll think about it,” he finally said.

“Good boy,” He Tian smiled. “Then, stay.”

One word turned out to be enough.

 

*** * * * * * * * * ***

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 2 minor surgeries and a mid-term exam, this is finally up. Phew. This is actually closely connected to the following chapter, but it was going to be too long if I uploaded the whole thing, so...
> 
> I don't know if this has come up before, but in case someone's interested, in this AU Mo is a couple of years younger than the other three guys. He's around 23. 
> 
> Also (and this is just my face claim thing), every time I think of Jian Yi, I think of SVT's Jeonghan when he used to have that long, fair hair.


	5. Armor down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Tian and Jian Yi prepare for a show. Zhan Xi brings a confession out of Guan Shan.

**_(165 days before)_ **

 

After a week, it was clear that whatever bad blood Jian Yi could have had with He Tian had been watered down. Guan Shan didn’t really know him, but it was easy to see that the way to Jian Yi’s heart was through paying attention to him. He Tian was always chasing after him, training with him, asking him for his opinion on different things, and making him spend time with Qiu and He Cheng. Still, Mo suspected that it wasn’t just for rehearsing their act that He Tian had a short leash on Jian Yi. Whenever he could, that guy would slip into the studio where Zhan Xi was overseeing the other dancers, only to be sent away just as quickly. Whatever relationship those two had, it was obvious to Mo that there was still something that wasn’t adding up.  

“Your hair’s way too long. Come on,” He Tian told Jian Yi, grabbing him by the shoulders and leading him into the locker room. “I’m gonna trim it a bit. Don’t worry, your good looks won’t be affected.”

“As if that were to happen,” Jian Yi scoffed. He turned to Guan Shan, who was changing into his uniform. “What do you say, Redhead? Should I let this guy do me?”

“Huh?! Do _what_ _?”_

“The _hair,_ ” He Tian said, tugging at it. “I don’t wanna deal with this guy getting strangled on stage. Choking is fine, strangling is not. Come on, sit down.”

“That reminds me: I haven’t seen you wearing your choker since I came back,” Jian Yi commented as he let He Tian cover his shoulders with a towel. “That means you and Xixi aren’t banging. Did anything happen while I was away?”

Guan Shan’s eyes opened wide as he did up the buttons of his shirt. He was aware of He Tian’s brief silence; he was undoubtedly looking for the right words, since Jian Yi’s words had come out with a snap that was unusual for him.

“Just the usual stuff. We still have an arrangement, right?”

“Yeah, I guess we still do,” Jian Yi replied with a heavy sigh as he brushed his hair. 

“Hey, if you don’t trust me, then it’s as good as nothing.”

Guan Shan remained standing there, slowly folding the clothes he’d just taken off. He wondered if it was okay for him to be there, but deep down he was kinda hoping he wouldn’t be kicked out. He’d failed to ask He Tian when he’d stayed over, and after that night they’d been too busy with their own things to have a chat. _Then again, it’s none of your business,_ he reminded himself. _But then… Does that mean that Jian Yi also does things with He Tian?_ He glanced at the other two men. _Or maybe He Tian is actually free?_ Jian Yi had mentioned a choker… Hadn’t Zhan Zheng Xi also mentioned that before?

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Jian Yi said as he caught one of the golden strands He Tian had just snipped. “We’ve known each other since we were kids, all three of us. You’re the only one I trust to protect Xixi if shit goes down. Ah, don’t cut it too short at the front.”

“You know that guy’s always thinking of you, don’t you,” He Tian said, wrapping his finger around a golden lock and tugging at it. “That mostly everything he does is so that you---”

“He’s stubborn.” Jian Yi looked over his shoulder, his eyes fixed on He Tian. “I asked him a thousand times to stop because I don’t want any of us to have anything to do with the family or that world, and still he never listens to me. And neither do you! I’m not---”

“This isn’t the time,” He Tian interrupted him rather brusquely.

Guan Shan felt that He Tian had finally become aware of his presence in the room - even if he wasn’t looking at him. “Ah, don’t mind me. I’ll be off in a minute,” he said, trying to sound casual.

“Oi, Redhead! I said it before and I’ll say it again,” Jian Yi grinned. “You’ve got killer legs. Are you sure you don’t want---?”

He Tian grunted. “I told you to leave him alone.” He showed Mo a bright smile. “You go, Pup. Don’t listen to this guy.”

“Look at you, being so protective!” Jian Yi laughed.

Guan Shan’s ears felt as if they were on fire. Jian Yi sure liked teasing people, and he just hoped that He Tian wouldn’t take him seriously. And yet, a little part of him was hoping He Tian would notice that he was attracted to him - though anything between them seemed impossible, considering how tangled that guy was with the other two, and how Guan Shan was just another employee. He sighed softly and with a quiet “Excuse me”, he left the room.

 

* * *

 

_"Too much... It's you, your love... It's an overdose."_

 

Jian Yi's body, which had been wrapped in the silks, unraveled down and landed on his left foot right as the song finished. He was out of breath and his cheeks were bright red. He raised his head as he heard clapping from several guys and He Tian, who threw a bottle of water to him.   

“You really got it done in a couple of tries. Congrats.”

“Told you I would,” Jian Yi said smugly. 

“It'd have been better if you hadn't put the pressure of the landing on one leg only...”

“Shut up, it looked cool, okay? Ugh, I need to sit down for a minute. Let me catch my breath...” He lay on his back for a while, but he sprang up after a few seconds. “Hey! We’re entertaining the board members of three hospitals this time, aren’t we?” he asked, wiping the sweat off his forehead. His long fingers wrapped around the bottle. “I wanna dress up as a sexy nurse then.”

“No.” Zhan Zheng Xi wasn’t even looking in their direction, but the word had been uttered firmly and with a clear recipient.

“Eh? Why not? Don’t you think it’s a good idea?” Jian Yi asked He Tian.

He seemed to ponder for a while. “It’s a bit clichéd; still, I guess it could work if you’re thinking of getting off the stage and working the tables. But is that what you want? It’s not necessary, and it hasn’t been requested, so...”

Jian Yi shrugged. “They’ll respect the hands-off policy. But come on, let’s spice things up. They’ll be bored old guys for sure, hoping to spend a night away from their spouses and their tedious work. And I won’t charge more, so think of it as a freebie! Plus, it’s good for business. Word of mouth, and you’ll soon be swarmed with customers...”

“More people would just make our work more difficult, and that’s not our aim.” Zhan Xi’s voice was harsher than usual. “We already have a good number of regulars on our usual schedule. They more than pay the bills.”

“What, the ladies? You know that’s not where the money’s at,” Jian Yi scoffed. “Women spend money on this place when there’s nothing else they need, but men get charged double and they're always more than happy to pay for an hour of pleasure.”

“Hey, don’t make it sound sleazy,” He Tian said, looking at the list Zhan Xi was holding. His eyes narrowed as soon as they landed on a name they knew well. “... On second thoughts, we really don’t need that. If an airhead like you is fine with it, then maybe we shouldn’t go along with it,” he said, grinning.

“Come on! It’s not like I’m gonna milk dicks! Just a little teasing? Flash’em a little leg in garters. 'Hey Doctor'…” Jian Yi teased, rolling his pants up to his knee and waving his leg playfully.

“Who’d pay to see that, stupid,” Zhan Xi grumbled as he tossed a towel over Jian Yi. He exchanged silent looks with He Tian before walking out of the room.

He Tian turned to Jian Yi, who was scowling. “You know he’s doing it for---”

“I know,” Jian Yi interrupted him. He clutched the towel and stared at the floor. “But you know what bothers me the most? The fact that you’ll be the one reaping what I sow.”

“Jian Yi---”

“Please,” he said in a voice unlike his usual self. He raised his clear eyes and there was nothing but a burning emotion in them; longing, frustration - He Tian couldn’t exactly tell what it was, but it pierced through him with something similar to guilt. “Don’t wear your choker for him anymore. Please… Give him to me.”

 

* * *

 

“You won’t be watching them?” Guan Shan asked a few days later, as the private show was taking place.

“I’ve already watched the other boys. He Tian and Jian Yi can take care of themselves,” Zhan Xi replied, pouring himself some coffee in the little office he usually used. The place was crammed with books, but Guan Shan had cleaned them once and learned that they were fake. They were probably hiding a safe or the entrance to a panic room behind the bookcase, he thought, but he'd shrugged it off, not being particularly concerned about finding out the truth.

“I guess you’ve seen them many times before, huh,” Guan Shan said. “To me it’s still amazing. I don’t think I could ever do those things...”

“What things?”

“The two of them, up there, all those acrobatics... It’s like the silks are extensions of their bodies. The way their legs move… It’s pretty sensual.”

Zhan Xi raised an eyebrow and looked at him for the first time. “Huh,” he said.

“Huh what?”

“Should have known.”

Guan Shan frowned. “I know you’re not big on talking, but I have no idea what you’re---”

“You like He Tian.”

A thick silence set in between them. Guan Shan swallowed hard. “Yeah,” he said. “I do.”

To his surprise, Zhan Zheng Xi’s lips slightly curved into a smile. “I see.”

“But I’m not planning to--- I mean, it’s not like…” Oh crap, he’d almost said he didn’t want to get between the two of them, but that would mean admitting he knew about their thing. But was it supposed to be a secret? It’s not like they were going round the club being lovey-dovey or anything of the kind. Perhaps he wasn’t---

“You saw us, didn’t you.”

“Yes. No! Well, yes, but… It was a mistake.”

Zhan Xi watched him in silence. “I don’t really mind. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

“Does Jian Yi agree?” Guan Shan blurted out before he could even think what he was saying. _Shit._ There was a fire in Zhan Zheng Xi’s eyes that he’d never seen before. _Shit shit shit._ He was dead, wasn’t he?

But perhaps it had been a trick of light, because Zhan's voice was calm as usual when he asked, “Should it matter?”

 _Well, shit._ He was already on the dance floor, so the only thing he could do now was dance. “He’s obviously crazy about you, and you seem to care for him.” Was he pushing his luck? He never knew how to feel around that guy. He was the kind that looked quiet, but once the switch was flipped… He shuddered. “I know - this has nothing to do with me, right?”     

Zhan Xi shrugged with his usual apathy and Guan Shan felt as if a bomb had been defused. “You’re not gonna change things just for being around. If you wanna take a chance on He Tian, why not go for it?” He tilted his head and gazed at him. “Or do you think you’ll be rejected because I’m around?” He took a step toward Guan Shan and raised his hand, his fingers gently stroking Guan Shan’s jawline.

The sudden noise of the crowd outside erupting in cheering and applause pulled them apart. The door burst open and one of the dancers said, “Boss Zhan, Jian Yi is dancing on one of the tables! I thought you should know---” But Zhan Zheng Xi was already storming out of the office, followed by Guan Shan.

“We’re gonna get him outta there as soon as he’s done, Redhead,” he grunted. “Fetch him a robe.”

Guan Shan ran past the back of the stage toward the locker room. Out of the corner of his eye he saw He Tian chasing after him. “Go back to the stage!” he shouted. “Zhan Zheng Xi surely needs you close to Jian Yi now! I’ll just go get him some clothes!” He saw He Tian falling behind and turning around.     

 

* * *

 

Guan Shan had been asked to stay behind with Jian Yi almost an hour ago, and both of them were now getting restless. Jian Yi had taken off his outfit and was now fidgeting with his phone. “I’m getting hungry,” he whined after he’d failed to clear a stage for the tenth time. “Do you think we can leave now?”

“Well, we’re both in here because of you,” Guan Shan replied. “You tell me.”

“Eh, but I don’t even know why. I mean, I know why they'll be mad at me, but why they locked us in here, I have no clue. I’m getting booored. Oh, I know!” His mood suddenly seemed to improve and Guan Shan shuddered. “Let me do you!”

“Huh?”

“Makeup and hair!”

“No fucking way!”

“Come _ooon!_ Okay, no makeup. But an outfit! Let me choose something for you.” Jian Yi got up and opened the closet merrily. “Okay, how do we feel about leather pants? No, wait - show me those legs of yours,” he grinned, practically leaping over him.

“Leave me alooone!” Guan Shan groaned, trying to break free from Jian Yi’s embrace.

“Come on! Indulge me, and I’ll tell you a few secrets about us.”

Guan Shan stopped struggling. “Who... Who’s 'us'?”

“Zhan Zheng Xi, He Tian, and myself!” Jian Yi answered, removing Guan Shan’s apron and undoing his pants. “Kick off those shoes. We’ve been together forever, you know? We know each other _suuuper_ well, and since those two are the secretive kind, I’m sure you’re curious. Ah, let’s see… He Tian hates mayonnaise.”

“What... Who’d want to know that?” Guan Shan said, raising his foot to take off his pants and making a mental note of the mayonnaise thing. “Lots of people don’t like it…”

“He usually dislikes weak flavors. Smoked things, sweet-and-sour stuff, hot enough but not too hot to do away with the other flavors - that’s how he likes it. Oooh, I wasn’t wrong,” he said with a smile as his fingers traced the muscles up his legs. “They are beautiful. They look strong, but elegant. Even the hair is so fine...”

“Thanks, I guess,” he grumbled. “What else?”

“What else what?” Jian Yi replied, entranced.

“If you’re not gonna tell me anything else, I’ll put my clothes back on.”

“No no no! Okay, let me think… Xixi will try anything, but once he decides he doesn’t like something, he won’t give it a second chance…” His voice trailed off a bit as he rolled a pair of white pantyhose up Guan Shan’s legs. He shook his head. “As regards me, I’m a pretty open guy, but… I like what I like, and once I find something I love, I stick with it.”

Guan Shan let him stay silent for a while. He had the feeling he wasn’t talking about food anymore, not with the way his eyes were looking away. He cleared his throat. “This… doesn’t feel terribly uncomfortable,” he said, rubbing his legs together and feeling the soft rustle of the silky nylon.

Jian Yi seemed to brighten up. “Right? The first time I wore them I thought it would be super uncomfortable, but once you get used to it… Ah, but we need something to keep them in place.” He stood up and fish for the garters in a locker. He put it on Guan Shan and took a step back. “Looks amazing…” he said, sounding proud.

There was a knock on the door and He Cheng poked his head in. “Jian Yi, you’ve---Woah, Momo! That looks hot...”

“Don’t look!” Guan Shan shouted, pulling his shirt down to cover his crotch.

“Can we leave now?” Jian Yi asked with a sigh. “We’re both tired and hungry and…” The words died in his lips as he saw the man standing behind He Cheng. “What’s _he_ doing here?” he mumbled, clenching his fists.

Guan Shan wondered what kind of person would make that guy’s voice tremble that way. A tall, tanned man dressed in white ambled into the room, his head covered in soft locks that were even lighter than Jian Yi’s, and his amber eyes seemed to be smiling. “Queen of hearts,” he said as he stood before Jian Yi and gave him a bouquet. “It’s been a long time...”

“What’s the meaning of this, He Cheng?” Jian Yi glared at the man. “Why did you let him in? What name do you go by these days, asshole? Chuan Wei? Yin Jing?”

“She Li,” he replied with a smirk.

“Fitting. Get out of my sight, snake.”

“But I’ve just arrived, silly,” She Li chuckled as he sat down. “Besides, it’s not like I’ll do something to you. Don't tell me you're afraid of me.”

“You here means bad news.” Jian Yi shot a glance at He Cheng. “Does Xixi---?”

“Ah, don't worry about him. I left Zhan Xixi in He Tian’s hands,” She Li said, tilting his head. “He didn’t seem to mind. So, how have you been?”

“I have nothing to say to you. He Cheng, I’m going---”

“Come on, I’m being a nice guy, so there’s no need to be so cold. Do you really want to play this game, Queen?” She Li sprang to his feet, but before he could lay a hand on Jian Yi, Guan Shan blocked his way.

“H-He said you’re not welcome here!” he exclaimed. The moment She Li’s eyes landed on him, however, he felt his resolve almost fading away. The look in them made him feel as if he were facing a basilisk.

“And who are you, cutie?” She Li’s eyes wandered over Guan Shan’s half-naked body.

 _Fuck! I’m gonna kill this guy._ “Nobody to you, just as you are to me. I don’t know why they let you in,” he said as he glared at He Cheng, “but if you’re not staff, you’re not allowed to be here.”

She Li folded his arms across his chest. “I’m a friend of your bosses’, though.”

“Yeah, right. He Tian would never let someone like you near Jian Yi. And I don’t know what you did with Zhan Xi, but if he were here, he’d beat the shit out of you.” Guan Shan poked him in the chest. “So go ahead and scram before they get here.”

“And there you have it,” He Cheng smirked, stepping forward and patting She Li on the shoulder. “You’ve made our Momo angry, so that means you’ve outstayed your welcome. Don’t take him so seriously, Momo. The truth is that we’ve known this guy for a long time now, and he sometimes works with my brother and Zhan Zheng Xi.”

Guan Shan frowned as he backed down. “I guess you know better, but…” He glanced at Jian Yi.

She Li tilted his head. “It's as the Queen said. He hates me because whenever I’m around, bad things happen, right?” He gave Jian Yi a half smile. “I’m just a bad omen to you, aren’t I?”

“You’re fucking right,” Jian Yi muttered, looking away.

“You see, ‘Momo’...” She Li said, fixing his light amber eyes on him, “I’m the one who always takes Zhan Zheng Xi and He Tian away.”

Guan Shan’s mouth felt suddenly dry. He looked at He Cheng, who looked straight back at him. “This guy here… He’s our informant.” He gave him an odd smile. “You’re a smart kid. You’ve probably heard things. By now you must know that the club is not our main activity.” He saw Guan Shan nod and went on talking. “We… recover a certain kind of bad people for a price.”

“Recover people? You’re bounty hunters?” Guan Shan asked, eyes open wide.

“I’m not sure we’d call ourselves that way, but you could say so.” He Cheng let out a big sigh and stretched his arms above his head. “Ah, you can talk to my brother about it. I’m sure He Tian will tell you if you ask the right questions.”

“He told me you haven’t been in this area for long,” Guan Shan said, recalling an old conversation. “Is this why?”

She Li put his hands in his pockets and swayed back and forth. “That’s why I told you the Queen hates me. If the job doesn’t go well, then they have to lie low for some time…” He gazed at Jian Yi. “And some things just get left behind...”

A knock on the door interrupted them. “All clear,” Qiu announced. “It’s our turn to do the round-up. The boys are back on stage and Boss left the place with Zhan.”

“I thought he would,” He Cheng said.

Qiu gaped at them. “Mo Guan Shan, where the fuck are your pants? Come on, kid, I need a hand working the front,” he barked. His eyes turned to She Li, who shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

“Ah… I should get going, right?” he chuckled.

“I think you should, yeah,” Qiu replied with a fake grin plastered on his face. He leaned toward He Cheng and murmured something in his ear. They nodded and Qiu said, “Blondie, He Cheng's gonna take you to Zhan Xi’s place later, okay?”

The look of relief in Jian Yi's eyes was more than telling. Guan Shan thought that he could understand what Jian Yi surely felt when he saw those two together, because he'd felt a bitter sting when Zhan Zheng Xi had teased him back in his office. As he took his clothes and ran into the bathroom to get changed, he pondered whether he should say something to He Tian. They hadn't known each other for long, it wasn't even close to what he had with the other two, but that didn't mean anything. He wasn't sure if He Tian would hear him or not, but if Zhan Zheng Xi had already figured it out, then He Tian would soon…

A loud _thud_ coming from above drew his attention. He Tian’s apartment was right above the bathroom. Guan Shan frowned. Hadn't Qiu said He Tian and Zhan Xi had gone away? Mo finished getting dressed and slipped out of the bathroom, toward the rooms above...

 

*** * * * * * * * * ***

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd never be able to post this! A million things happened between the previous chapter and this one, including a trip far away from home to the place where I'll be moving to next year, trouble at university, and having repairmen at home. I kinda hated to leave the chapter where I did, especially since you know there'll be a timeskip as usual, but otherwise it would overlap with the next one. The next chapter will be shorter, and we'll get to know if He Tian has also figured out Mo's feelings. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	6. Chained up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guan Shan sees He Tian and Zhan Zheng Xi, which leads him to make a decision about He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW.

**_(144 days before)_ **

 

_He Tian’s fingers quickly undid the buttons of Guan Shan’s shirt, one at a time. His eyes never strayed from his face as he leaned over and whispered a question in his ear. Mo’s hands ran up Tian’s arms drawing him closer, feeling the warmth of his skin. His teeth nibbled at He Tian’s earlobe and he bucked his hips as he felt Tian’s hand slip into his pants._

_“Is this what you want, Pup?” He Tian’s voice was a heated growl. He gave him a playful bite and swirled his tongue up his neck, sucking gently on the skin._

_“Yes… I want it… I really want it...” he pleaded as he pressed his forehead against He Tian’s, panting, seeking his lips…_

 

* * *

 

Guan Shan opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. _Not again._ That fucking dream would be the end of him. He slid his fingers under the waistband of his lounge pants and rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock, already oozing pre-cum. He stroked himself slowly but firmly, feeling every tug the way He Tian surely had felt it that night…

They hadn’t noticed he’d seen them, had they?

He bit his lip, trying to hold back his groans. He closed his eyes as he recalled the image of those two as he’d seen them that night, after the show.

 

*** * * * ***

 

 _He Tian hadn’t locked the door to his loft and, on an impulse, Guan Shan had opened it before knocking. The place was mostly in the dark, the only light coming from the lamp that had fallen onto the floor and now lay there, forgotten, casting a dim light on Zhan Zheng Xi and He Tian. The mirrored wall at the end of the room gave Guan Shan a clear image of the two of them, trousers undone, legs spread as they sat facing each other. T_ _here was a voice at the back of Mo’s mind urging him to walk away, but his legs refused to move. Once again, he was the spectator of a show he didn’t quite get._

They aren’t kissing, _he noted. Their mouths were close enough to do it, but Zhan Xi’s forehead was pressed against He Tian’s as he grunted heatedly, sliding his hand up and down their cocks, rubbing them together. He Tian stroked Zhan Xi’s thighs as he placed his left hand around his neck, holding him in place. He nuzzled Zhan Xi and he closed his eyes, lost in the pleasure of those hands on him. Their hot breath mingled, as did their moaning when He Tian couldn’t hold back any longer._

_And then Zhan Xi raised his hand to He Tian’s neck, and gently removed his choker._

_Mo’s heart ran wild, telling him that there was something bitter about that image. There was heat and there was lust, and boy, he’d give anything to be in Zhan Zheng Xi’s place, but… Not like that. He Tian’s mouth was meant to be kissed. His body was meant to be caressed, worshipped. How come Zhan Zheng Xi wasn’t doing just that?_ If it were me, _he thought…_

_He turned around and left as quietly as he’d come in._

 

* * *

 

“OW!” Mo rubbed his arm and turned to Qiu, who was holding an icepick. “What---? What the shit is wrong with you?”

“You’re totally spaced out, and today I need you to stay focused.” Qiu rested his back against the wall and folded his arms across his chest. “Boss’s orders. Believe me, I wish I didn’t have to. But I'd hate to repeat myself for the tenth time, so fucking pay attention, kid. Tao will be training with you. Don’t waste his time. Unlike me, he doesn’t have much patience.”

Guan Shan scoffed. “I already told you I can fight if I want to. I can definitely defend myself.”

“And can you defend others? _Would_ you?” Qiu seemed to be on edge that day. “Do you think you could keep a cool head if someone came in and shot me in the face, while I’m standing right next to you?”

“What are you talking about?” Mo murmured. “That’s not gonna happen. That’s never happened, right?”

“Nah, never been shot in the face, I’m just naturally ugly. But Boss wants you to be aware of what could happen.”  He grabbed Mo by the hand and pressed his thumb on a light under the counter. The upper panel slid open, revealing six handguns and enough ammunition for all of them. “You can still opt out, though. No one’s gonna hold it against you. We can pay---”

“Yeah, yeah. I've heard that a couple times already. When’s he coming back?”

“By the end of the week,” Zhan Zheng Xi replied, leaning over the counter.

Mo jolted back. “Shit! Stop doing that, Zhan Xi you creep!”

“ _Me,_ a creep?” Zhan Xi glanced at Qiu, who took the cue and walked away. Once he was out of earshot, he went on. “You can hardly call _me_ a creep when you’re the one peeping in when others are busy… Or what, is that how you get off?”

“Ugh, of course you knew.” Guan Shan gave him a glare and leaned forward. “Look, I won’t do it again, but don’t---”

“---tell He Tian? He’s the one who noticed. Or did you think he doesn’t have cameras all over the place?” Zhan Xi rested his head on his hand. “He didn’t notice right away, sure. But he was a bit upset about it. So I told him---”

“You _didn’t._ ”

“---that it was no big deal, that you’d probably gotten too embarrassed to leave right away and that's why you'd stayed there.” Zhan Xi’s eyes watched him quietly. “I wasn’t going to tell him you like him. That’s _your_ battle. I’m not gonna fight it for you. Don’t tell Jian Yi that you like He Tian. He’ll want to ‘help’, but he’ll just get in the way. Or do, I don’t know,” he said as he turned to leave. “If you’re that much of a coward, maybe that’ll help you.”

Why did he have to put up with that guy’s crap…? “A coward, huh?” Mo snapped. “I guess it takes one to know one!”

Zhan Xi stood still. “What did you say…?”

 _Shit, this is where I die._ He swallowed hard and clenched his fists. “That you’re the coward here. You won’t make a move on Jian Yi even if he loves---”

“You… have _no_ _fucking_ _idea_ what goes on between Jian Yi and me.” Zhan Xi muttered. “You think you’re one of us just because Qiu and He Cheng let you get away with stuff, or because He Tian doesn’t mind your snooping around. But you don’t know shit about us.”

“I have eyes! I can see the way Jian Yi looks at you two when you stand there together!” Mo shouted, feeling a sting in his throat.

“Redhead---”

“Are you that much of a bonehead? Every time he talks about you, every time he sees you… Do you think that you letting him kiss you and never returning it is enough? Do you _really_ not notice that he wants you alone---?”

“ _Stop._ I won’t hear this from you again.” Zhan Zheng Xi’s cold command didn’t surprise him, but he hadn’t expected it to be so compelling. “If you wanna be with He Tian, then fucking step up. I’m not about to hand him over to someone who’s got nothing to lose and yet hasn’t got the balls to go for it.” Mo could have sworn that those eyes of him had quickly switched between fire and ice. What was he thinking? Was he jealous? No… He obviously cared for He Tian, but…

“Then, you wouldn’t mind?” Guan Shan asked.

Zhan Xi looked at his hand. He was about to take a black ring off his finger when he stopped. “He Tian is a free man,” he said, giving Mo a half smile. “As I said, if you think you can win him over, give it a try. But if you want him to be yours alone...” He shrugged. “Good luck, I guess.”  

 

* * *

 

“Mmmh… Still early...” Guan Shan groaned as he opened one eye and looked at the clock. He became aware that there were quiet voices coming from the kitchen - the occasional giggle of his mother, and a deeper chuckle that resonated after hers. A neighbor? He turned in his bed and was nuzzling his pillow when it dawned on him that the voice was He Tian’s. In a flash, he threw the covers aside and jumped out of bed.

“Ah, he’s finally awake!” his mother smiled. “Guan Shan, your boss has come to pay a visit.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Mo asked through a forced smile, nodding at He Tian. “Long time no see, Boss.”

“I asked your mother to let you sleep. Brother told me last night was hectic, so it’s good that today’s a day off at the restaurant as well, isn’t it?” He Tian smiled almost kindly as he turned to his mother. “Besides, I hadn’t yet had a chance to meet your mother, and I thought she’d like to know how you’re doing at the club.”

“He Tian brought along so many things!” His mother pointed to the lavish breakfast basket. “I only had to heat up the tea. It’s a delicious blend, you should have some,” she said as she placed her hands on the table to help herself stand up.

“If you don’t mind, I can do it,” He Tian offered, resting his hand on the woman’s. He seemed to remember where everything was in that kitchen. He waited for Guan Shan to sit down and then passed him the cup, brimming with a dark brew that smelled of sweet spices. “Your mother was telling me about the documentaries you got for her. I had no idea you couldn’t swim.”

“I... had a bad experience in a swimming pool on my third birthday. One of the kids almost drowned, and there was nothing I could do about it. Still remember his blue skin when they got him out.” He shuddered. “I wasn’t very fond of anything related to water later on. But it’s not like I’m afraid of it or anything. I just need to know that my going into the water is essential - otherwise, I won’t go near the stuff.”

“Oh, but he does shower!” his mother added, tapping He Tian’s wrist. “In fact, he sometimes takes these long---”

“Mom, what are you saying?” Mo asked between his teeth.

“I prefer baths,” He Tian smiled. “I just lie there till the water goes cold. Helps me relax after training.”

“Training? What kind? Tell me more…”

Guan Shan sat back and watched the two of them talking excitedly. He realized there was a lot he didn’t know about He Tian - not just the bits about his real job, but the small things. The way he stroked the cup with his thumb when he was talking, but how he would stop when someone else said something, as if he truly were paying close attention; the occasional shifting of his long legs, especially when the topic was changed. Even the tiny laughter wrinkles he got around the eyes made him feel… warm. He wasn’t looking at Guan Shan, but he had known when his cup had been emptied, and had stood up to get him some more tea without saying a word.

“... you say, son?”

“Hmmm?”

“Mo Guan Shan, we have a guest today! Don’t get distracted so easily!”

“No, was… I wasn’t, no!” Mo babbled, flustered upon hearing He Tian’s snicker. “I was just… It’s getting late for your appointment!” He went round the table and offered her his left arm as he circled her waist with the right one.

“Oh dear, is it that late? It was so nice talking to such a charming man,” she said with a lovely smile. “I’m sorry, but it seems we’re running a little---”

“I brought my car today,” He Tian said, standing up and piling up the dishes. “I’ll drive you wherever you need to go.”

“You don’t need to do anything!” Guan Shan said. “I’ll do the washing up when we get back.”

“Nonsense. I may not be able to cook, but I can at least do this much. Leave this to me.”

 

* * *

 

“How long will she have to stay there?” he asked as soon as Guan Shan came out of the clinic. He handed him a bottle of water and leaned back against the car.

“That depends. If we see her come out in fifteen minutes, then that’s it. If the nurse comes to pick me up, it could take hours. You don’t need to wait,” Guan Shan said. “She might even need to stay overnight, so…”

“She’s a sweet woman.”

“Aren’t you gonna say it?”

“Say what?”

“That I look like her.”

“Aaah… You’re a sweet guy,” He Tian chuckled.

Guan Shan snorted. “Idiot.”

“Hey, I’m your boss.”

“Excuse me, but it’s my day off and you’re invading my private space, so… You had it coming.”

“Ah, so I’m a bother. Shall I go, then?” He Tian said, taking a step forward. He was stopped by Guan Shan’s hand, who grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

“Do you always play hard to get?” Mo asked, taking a sip of the water.

“Some people like the chase, and I kinda like roaming around...”

“I bet you do. You took your sweet time to return.”

“It was less than ten days.”

“It was more than enough.” Guan Shan turned to He Tian and rested his arm on the roof of the car. “Are you gonna go away again?”

“Awww… Is our Pup feeling lonely already?” He Tian smiled, reaching out and tousling Mo’s hair. Before he could remove his hand, however, Guan Shan wrapped his fingers around his wrist and kept it in place.

“Are you gonna take Zhan Zheng Xi with you?” he asked, his eyes fixed on He Tian’s.

He Tian ran his fingers through Mo’s short hair, his thumb gently stroking his ear. “Even if I was the one who told Qiu to get you training, I don’t want you involved in this. The less you know---”

“A bit too late for that, isn’t it?” Mo stepped forward and closed the distance between them. “You already got me involved, so... Be a responsible owner.”

“Oooh. Shall I get a leash for this puppy?”

“And a tag with my name.”

He Tian let out a chuckle. “What’s with you? Don’t tell me you liked what you saw the other day...”

“Maybe I did.”

He Tian let his hand fall to the side. “Look, Pup…” he said, rubbing his forehead. “My job takes all of my time and energy, and I like it. I’d never stop doing it for anyone. So I don’t do dates. I fuck. And you seem like a decent guy, but I don’t do decent.”

“Maybe you should for a change. But who knows? After seeing you guys, perhaps I’m not as decent as you think.” Guan Shan was aware that he was clenching the bottle of water; that he was taking a risk with He Tian. But it was because it was He Tian that he was doing it. Zhan Zheng Xi’s words were still going round inside his head, binding him to that thought, to that feeling, and he knew that he’d never be able to move on unless he was shot down. And from the look in He Tian’s face, he thought he should brace himself. He shrugged. “Well, it’s not like you need to give your reply right away; after all---” His phone started buzzing. He checked the incoming message and let out a heavy sigh. “You should go. I’ll have to stay the night here. Thanks for the water and the ride.”  

“Mo Guan Shan,” He Tian called right before he could enter the building.

“Yeah?”

He Tian rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen, so… I can’t prom---”

“Yeah, stop right there,” Mo commanded. “I already got that part. I’m not asking for an ‘ever after’, Boss. I just want you, as you are.” It wasn’t until a heavy silence had set in between the two of them that Mo realized what he’d said. He looked away and babbled, “So, yeah… Well… I’ll go. You go too. Away. Me, here. I mean… That. Shit… See you tomorrow.”

He Tian watched the doors of the clinic close behind Mo. He stayed like that for a long time, wondering what had gotten into that guy. He hadn’t seemed flustered when he’d brought up the question of his spying on him and Zhan Xi, which meant…

He got into the car and pulled out his phone. He looked for the contact and pressed the number. “Xixi,” he said. “We need to talk ASAP.”

 

*** * * * * * * * * * ***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Ship or crackship? Can Mo share He Tian? Should he? I'll probably leave them alone so that they can figure it out ^^ Thanks for reading!


	7. All my itching wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He Cheng, Jian Yi, and Zhan Zheng Xi remember the circumstances that led them to their current situation. Meanwhile, Guan Shan seeks to confirm his feelings for He Tian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead (including flashbacks), sorry!

_(122 days before)_

 

Every now and then, He Cheng worried about his brother.

He understood that He Tian was capable and cool-minded, but sometimes he lacked perspective. All those years partnered with Zhan Zheng Xi hadn’t given him the rationality he needed in order to come back from his “missions” unharmed. Far from it - every time he returned, there was a new scar he’d somehow managed to collect. He Cheng still remember that time two years before, when a pale-as-a-ghost Zhan Zheng Xi had come to pick him up in the middle of the night, blood all over his shirt. He Cheng hadn’t seen him so distressed since he was a kid. He’d come knocking at his door, thinking He Tian wasn’t going to make it, and he’d wanted He Cheng to be there, by his brother’s side.

But He Tian had lived through it, as if he were this lanky black cat who landed on his feet every single time. That time He Cheng had told him that it was enough, that they could make money some other way. But He Tian had refused, and Zhan Zheng Xi had remained silent. He Cheng understood then that it wasn’t about the money they made - both of them needed whatever thrill they got out of it, and nothing would persuade them to quit it.

Though in all truth, he knew it wasn’t just for kicks.

 

**************

 

_“We can’t have our clients seeing me with that kind of scar,” He Tian said, a grin on his face as he endured the pain while Qiu silently carved a rose on his skin to cover the slash on his left side._

_“If you’re planning on getting one for every wound you get, you should consider dropping this line of work before you get all covered up,” He Cheng told him. “I won’t fucking recognize your corpse the day Zhan Xi brings it back. Can’t you wait till you’ve healed at least?”_

_“I’d rather not feel this fucking pain twice. On the plus side, if they ever chop me up in pieces, as long as you know which tattoos I have, you’ll be able to pick up the loose bits...”_

_“Then I hope you get your dick tattooed as well, though I doubt it’s good enough to be a dog’s dinner,” He Cheng barked before storming off. He went straight to where Zhan Zheng Xi was working, slamming the door behind him. “I want him out of this!”_

_“Your brother is an adult already,” Zhan Xi replied with his usual calm demeanor._

_“He sure doesn’t act like one!”_

_“Neither do you.”_

_“I swear you’ve made me age… You two are gonna kill me one of these days…” He Cheng lit a cigarette and took a long drag, letting the smoke fill him up and then releasing it slowly through the nose. “Why can’t you two be more carefree like Jian Yi?”_

_Zhan Xi gave him a tired look. “We’re doing this so that he can stay that way.”_

_“Find another excuse. He doesn’t want you two doing this either.” He Cheng sighed. “So? Did you find anything new?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“You’re shitting me.” He raised his eyes and met Zhan Xi’s. “For real this time?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Show me.”_

_Zhan Xi turned the laptop toward him and pointed to the files ridden with dates and photographs. “The last target we got a task for involved part of a circle of high-class traffickers. Remember the disappearances of those kids from rich families back then? Selling kids not for parts like they were doing with the poor, but for something else... The guys that caught us back then, they were looking for a way to get into this. After they botched their job with us they went into hiding, but now it seems they wanna get back into it. Once that guy wakes up, we’ll get to confirm if they ever did. That’ll be a solid start.”_

_“The guy…? The white-haired guy you brought along? It’s been a couple days but he’s still out cold. What’d you give him?”_

_“A bit of everything. Well, a lot. He’d been caught days ago. He’s an informant - that’s all I know. I recognized him from a list the government issued last year. But I can’t be sure he won’t double-cross us if we just let him walk away right now.” Zhan Xi blew on his coffee and took a sip. “It’s weak,” he said._

_“Are you gonna keep this from Jian Yi?” He Cheng asked, his eyes still glued to the screen. “Because if he asks, I’ll tell him.”_

_“No. I’ll talk to him this time. I just need him to be away for some time. At least till He Tian gets better.”_

_“He’s been asking about you two for days...”_

_“If this guys tells us what we need… You’ll have to send Jian Yi away. Tell him he needs to assess a new place.” Zhan Xi leaned back on his chair and rubbed his forehead. “We’ll probably have to leave this place anyway, so it’s better if you can give him something to do that’ll make him feel involved.”_

_“Sending someone away is a shitty way of protecting them, you know.”_

_“It’s the only thing I can do,” Zhan Xi replied. “At least, till we get the closure He Tian and I need. Once that’s been dealt with, I’ll be with him the way we want it.”_

_He Cheng stared at him. “So you_ do _wanna be with him. What’s gonna happen with my stupid brother if you two get together, then?”_

_Zhan Zheng Xi looked back at him. “That’s for us to decide.”_

 

**************

 

Qiu slid the plate across the table. “Eat. They’ve been gone for days. You don’t know if they’re gonna call tonight. Have a beer, take a shower, and then go to bed. You haven’t slept for three days, you're starting to look like a fucking panda.”

“I’m not hungry,” He Cheng replied, checking his messages.

“I didn’t ask you if you were, I don’t really care. I’ll probably have to take care of Boss when he comes back, but I won’t deal with both brothers at the same time, so eat.” He stabbed some meat and vegetables and handed the fork to He Cheng, who opened his mouth. “You’re too old to act like a cute brat,” Qiu said with a sigh, even if he still fed his partner. “How’d I end up with a bunch of savages? You, Blondie, Redhead, Boss, the guys… The only one that never bothers me is that poker-faced Zhan Zheng Xi.”

“That’s just because you’re not close enough to him.”

“I’m as close as I need. I’m sure he’d kill all of us with his thumb if he wanted.”

“All the more reason to be nice to him,” He Cheng replied, opening his mouth again.

Qiu fed him once more. “I don’t know. You can never trust the quiet ones. He really looks like he’s gonna snap one of these days.” He opened a can of beer and fiddled with the tab. “I was starting to get used to this place.”

He Cheng raised his eyebrows. “Who said we’re gonna have to move?”

“In less than two years, I gave Boss a total of 8 tattoos. _Eight._ Let that sink in.” He took a swig from the can and swallowed quickly. “Don’t tell me they’re not getting closer.”

“Qiu…” He Cheng’s voice was low and warm. “All this time I stayed behind because I thought I could be some sort of anchor for my brother. But---”

“I know.” Qiu took a deep breath. “I know you still blame yourself---”

“I took him away from my family because I thought he’d have a better life away from those people. He was supposed to grow up well and safe, and eventually become someone better than what we’ve known all our lives. But then that happened...” He clenched his jaw and held onto his phone so tightly that Qiu thought he was going to break it. “When he disappeared… When the two of them disappeared---”

“That’s enough,” Qiu interrupted him. He picked up some of the food and pressed it against He Cheng’s lips. “Eat.” To his surprise, He Cheng opened his mouth and chew slowly. “The only thing that matters is what we’re going to do when they find the ones who took them away.” He noticed He Cheng watching him. “What? I’m not about to let them tackle those shits on their own.”

He Cheng gave him a half smirk. “How’d I end up with such a supportive wife?”

“Who’s your wife, asshole?” Qiu kicked him on the shin, making He Cheng double over.

“Shit… And you were being so lovely…” He Cheng groaned. “I was gonna ask you for a reward tonight if I ate all my vegetables…”

“I don’t do rewards. You’re lucky I didn’t crush your balls---” He stopped talking when the phone rang.

He Cheng picked up the call. “Zhan?”

 

* * *

 

Guan Shan walked into the club and blinked at the silence that greeted him. Usually at that time of the day the guys were hanging around the stage, taking turns for their final rehearsals. “Yo,” he called out loud. “Anybody?” The door to the office opened and his eyes met He Cheng’s.

“Momo… What are you doing here? We sent you a message this morning telling you not to come over today.”

“Ah, too bad. My battery died and I was at the clinic with my mom… Did something happen? You look like you haven’t seen a bed in days...” He looked around to confirm that the place was indeed deserted.

“We’ll be taking the whole week off. You’ll still get paid, of course. Ah, since you were training with Tao, I’ll give you his phone number so that you can do something about that---”

“Where’s He Tian?” Mo asked, a hint of steel in his voice. “Because he’s back, isn’t he?”

He Cheng sighed. “He’s... recovering.”

Mo swallowed hard. “From what? What happened to him? What hospital---?”

“Zhan Zheng Xi is taking care of him,” He Cheng said, looking at the phone screen. He looked up when Mo took the phone from his hand.

“I want to see him.”

“He needs to rest.”

“I won’t bother him.”

He Cheng licked his lips. “Do something for me and I’ll arrange something for you.”

“What do you need?”

“So quick to accept it. You’re not afraid of what I might ask…?”

“Tell me what you need.” Mo was staring at him almost fiercely.

 _He Tian, I think you’re loved,_ He Cheng thought. He shook his head with a slight smile. “I need you to spend the night with Jian Yi. Don’t make that face, it’s not in that way. If you can keep him inside till tomorrow, then I’ll let you meet my brother.”

“Are you asking me to be his sitter? Again?”

“You’re the best for that kind of job,” He Cheng patted him on the shoulder. “Take alcohol with you, and lots of snacks. It’s just for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll give him the news myself.”

 

* * *

 

Jian Yi squinted at him. “So you’re saying that all of a sudden you wanted to cook for me?”

“The chef has allowed me to introduce some light dishes to the menu, but I have to make them good enough, so I need to practice.”

“And you’ll be doing this in my apartment because…?”

“I need a tester.” _Come on, just let me in._ Mo raised the supermarket bag. “I’ve got different types of alcohol with me...”

“Do come in, mister chef!” Jian Yi grinned as he stepped aside. “The kitchen’s over there. I can help if you want! Ah, just don’t give me smelly or slimy things…”

As they prepared the light dishes, they chatted about trivial stuff. Guan Shan was afraid of revealing something he shouldn’t, and so he kept speaking about himself. Fortunately, Jian Yi was in the mood to be entertained, and his natural curiosity made him play along.

“Not bad at all, Redhead!” he said, patting his stomach and leaning back. “I haven’t eaten like this in a long time. I’ll have to go for a long run tomorrow. You should come with me! Though now that I think about it, if you eat and drink this way every day and you have that body, you’re a lucky ass.”

“Yeah, I don’t usually exercise, but I’ve started training recently with Tao and…” Guan Shan’s voice faded away and he tried to change the subject. In spite of the alcohol, Jian Yi’s mind was sharper than he’d let on.

“Did Qiu suggest that?”

“Well, yeah. But it’s not like it means anything. It’s more of a ‘when you have the time’ thing or something like that. I just don’t want Qiu scolding me if anything happens...”

Jian Yi looked at him over his can of beer. “Anything like what?” he asked softly. He watched Guan Shan drink the rest of his beer and wipe off his mouth with the back of his hand. “Did He Tian tell you about us? Or why those guys do what they do?”

Guan Shan stared at him. He shook his head.

“I thought so,” Jian Yi said.

“But you will.” Guan Shan leaned forward. “Won’t you?”

 

**************

 

_The school bell rang and everyone went back into the classroom. Having snoozed in the morning sun, Jian Yi stretched his arms and rubbed his eyes. The weight of a warm hand took him by surprise._

_“Your hair’s a mess,” Zhan Zheng Xi noted, passing his fingers through Jian Yi’s golden strands. “You don’t even move that much, so how did it get that way?”_

_“Were you watching me again?” Jian Yi smiled sleepily._

_“I had nothing better to do,” Zhan Xi replied, turning away._

_“Everyone, settle down,” the teacher said, leaving his notebook on the desk. “We’ve got a transfer today. Come in,” he signaled the boy waiting outside. With his dark hair and strong features, he immediately captured the attention of boys and girls. “Class, this is---”_

_“He Tian?!” Jian Yi and Zhan Xi exclaimed._

_As if it were a magic spell, the stern look in He Tian’s eyes vanished. He blinked and waved to the two boys that were calling him over._

_“I see you already know some people in the class…” the teacher said. “Fine, you can use the desk behind Jian Yi’s. Don’t forget to come see me after class to confirm your personal details.”_

_He Tian walked down the aisle and gave Zhan Xi a grin as he passed by. He high-fived Jian Yi and sat down behind him. Jian Yi turned to Zhan Xi. “I can’t believe He Tian’s here!” he said excitedly._

_The three of them started spending time together in and out of school. Jian Yi and He Tian shared the same love for sports, whereas He Tian and Zhan Xi had the same musical taste. Comics, games, fast food after class; napping in Jian Yi’s garden or spending the night in Zhan Xi’s room - as if they were trying to make up for some lost time._

_“Hey, is Qiu your brother’s husband?” Jian Yi asked one day, walking back home with the other two._

_“No, they’re… I don’t know,” He Tian shrugged. “When we left home, Qiu came with us. He and Brother have known each other forever, so they’re special to each other, I guess? But I haven’t seen them kissing. Brother does hug Qiu quite a bit, especially when Qiu’s hands are busy. That way he doesn’t get whacked on the head. But they’re not stuck up on labels or things like that.”_

_“They seem content that way.” Zhan Xi checked how much money he had on his wallet. “I’m gonna get some popsicles. Be right back,” he said as he trotted towards the convenience store._

_“So they don’t have sex?” Jian Yi asked, getting smacked. “Ow! What’s that for?”_

_“For giving me weird mental images,” He Tian shuddered. “That’s my brother you’re talking about, ugh. I don’t know? At least they don’t do it when I’m around, and I don’t think it matters. What’s up with you? Been having wet dreams?” he laughed, tousling his friend’s hair._

_“Yes,” Jian Yi replied. “It’s normal, isn’t it? Wanting to kiss or touch...”_

_Before He Tian had time to reply or question him about it, Zhan Xi was back. He handed out the ice pops and frowned. “Hey, you know that girl who’s been skipping classes? They’ve just announced it on the radio: she’s officially missing.”_

_“What?”_

_“Her parents are offering a huge reward...”_

_“Of course they would do that,” He Tian said, biting the tip off the popsicle. “The father’s a prominent board member of CSH, the healthcare corporation. They sure have money to do that and more.”_

_“But isn’t it strange?” Zhan Xi asked. “If it were just about the money, they’d have asked for a ransom or something.”_

_“Unless they’d rather catch the bastards and give the money to someone better,” Jian Yi said, licking his fingers._

_Zhan Xi stared at him for a few seconds and then looked away. “But that’d be reckless. Putting her in danger like that…”_

_“Well, yeah. Some parents are shit like that.” He Tian patted Zhan Xi’s shoulder. “Hey, give me a bite.” He opened his mouth and let Zhan Xi slide the popsicle in. He bit the tip off and licked his lips. “Woah, this lemon is sour…”_

_“Let me try it! You can eat mine!” Jian Yi exclaimed, pressing the ice pop against Zhan Xi’s lips._

_“Mine too,” He Tian grinned, pushing harder and stuffing Zhan Xi’s mouth._

_Zhan Xi shook his head frantically and covered his mouth. “You guys, stop it!” he shouted as he wiped off his lips with his thumb. “I’m gonna get a brain freeze!”_

_“One at a time, then,” He Tian said, teasing Zhan Xi’s lips with the popsicle. “Do you want mine, or Jian Yi’s? Cherry or banana?”_

_“I like both, but I already have mine, so I’m fine. Jian Yi, yours is melting.” Zhan Xi took a handkerchief out of his uniform pocket and gave it to Jian Yi, who stuck his tongue out at He Tian and then smirked._

_“You little shit,” He Tian said, ruffling his golden hair and squeezing him from behind._

_“Let go! It’s too hot to have you stuck to my back!” Jian Yi whined._

_Many days passed by till an afternoon right before the summer break, during the last school trip. He Tian and Jian Yi were in charge of checking the gym inventory in the school field. They were heading toward the storage room when He Tian grabbed him by the arm as he picked up the pace._

_“What the hell… What’s going on?” Jian Yi asked, trying to escape He Tian’s grip._

_“Don’t look back,” He Tian muttered. “And if I tell you to run, just do it.”_

_Jian Yi’s heart started beating faster. “Is there something out there? An animal? We have to let Xixi know! He’ll be here in a few minutes!” Jian Yi took his cellphone out of his pocket but He Tian snatched it from him._

_“Listen,” he said, “as soon as we see the storage room, you’re gonna run as if your life depended on it - got it? Do_ not _look back.” He was gritting his teeth and digging his fingers in Jian Yi’s arm. “There’s a slope just round the shed. Run down and tell the teacher to call my brother. Don’t trust the security guards. And if you see Zhan Xi, don’t let him come over. Got it?”_

_Jian Yi nodded. The sound of a broken twig and the rustle of leaves at a certain distance made him break out in a cold sweat._

_“Now!” He Tian started running, tugging him along. Jian Yi’s legs felt unusually light, even more so when he heard the steps coming closer. As soon as they’d reached the storage room, He Tian pushed him forward. Through the corner of his eye, Jian Yi saw him throw open the door to the shed, blocking the view..._

Zhan Xixi, _he thought._ I must find him, quickly. _Feeling the blood pumping in his ears, he ran forward without looking back. His mind was solely focused on getting help, as he couldn’t process whatever was going on. His feet touched the pavement of the road that led to the main building and he saw Zhan Zheng Xi trotting in his direction._

_“Ah, there you are,” he said, waving a small tool kit. “Teacher asked me to check the hinges of the door, since--- What… What’s wrong? You okay?”_

_Jian Yi clung to him, out of breath. “He Tian… Storage… Someone there… Told me… Run…”_

_Zhan Xi’s face clouded over. “Find our teacher, go! And stay with him!” As he passed by, Jian Yi grabbed him by the arm, shaking his head._

_“Don’t go…” he pleaded._

_“I can’t leave him like that!” Zhan Xi shouted. He must have seen something in Jian Yi’s face, because he threw his arms around him, hugging him tight for a couple of seconds, and then he pulled away. “Just go!” he commanded as he sprinted up the slope._

 

**************

 

As Jian Yi’s voice died down, Mo swallowed hard. “What… So what happened?”

“By the time the teachers got there, they were gone,” Jian Yi replied. He drank what little was left in his can and then leaned forward, resting his head on his arms. “He Tian had been right. The security guards working that shift were part of it. He Cheng, Qiu, and the others dealt with them. But it took them seven days till they found them.” He gave Mo a sad smile. “And that was only because those two had been waiting for a chance...”

“And the kidnappers?”

“They escaped.”

Mo frowned. “And He Cheng couldn’t find them?”  

Jian Yi shook his head. “My father… When he heard that I could have been the one disappearing, he sent me abroad. I begged him to let me stay, but it was no good. And when I came back, those two were in a world of their own.” He let out a bitter chuckle. “I hate myself for wishing I could have disappeared with them back then. But sometimes... I don’t know what to do.”

“I like He Tian,” Mo said.

Jian Yi blinked. “Well… That’s obvious, isn’t it? Does he know it?”

“I think I made it clear right before he left.” Mo rested his head on his hand. “He still hasn’t replied.” He stared at Jian Yi. “I’ve also told Zhan Zheng Xi.”

“Oh? And what did he say?”

“That it was up to me, and if I had the courage to tell He Tian about it, then I should do so. Ah, but I also called him a coward because of you. If he wants to go out with you, he should say---”

Jian Yi laughed. “Redhead, you’ve got balls if you called Xixi a coward to his face. But it’s nothing like that. When we’re alone, Zhan Xixi is nothing but kind to me. And... that’s the problem. Simply put, I wanna have sex with him. But for some reason, when the moment comes, he just can’t do it with me.” He grinned at Mo. “That’s where He Tian comes in. Or he comes in He Tian, who knows. But,” he tilted his head, “if you’ve already made your move, it’ll be interesting to see what they’ll do, don’t you think?”

 

* * *

 

Zhan Zheng Xi put the tablet away and stood up. He walked toward He Tian’s bed and checked that he was sleeping normally. The fever had finally broken and he looked relaxed. Zhan Xi sat down on the floor right next to him. He rested his head on the covers and closed his eyes. It felt like the end of a very long day, almost like he’d come home - though it never truly felt like home unless Jian Yi was there.

“Tomorrow,” he murmured to himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jian Yi.”

 

**************

 

_Zhan Xi let out a scream as he shouldered one of the men away from the door. He dodged another one coming at him with a taser and then shouted, “Stay inside! Help is coming!” He felt a kick to the back and he landed on his face. He scrambled to get up, but a violent cramp took over his leg and spread across his body. Convulsing, he grunted and watched helplessly as they finally managed to open the door. He Tian wouldn’t stand a chance, not with three men…_

_He saw the sparks that brought He Tian down to his knees, and two of the men dragged his limp body outside. “Fuck, I don’t think these are the right kids,” one of them said._

_“Any kid from that school will do,” another replied. “Come on, the van will be here any minute. We’ll meet them on the side of the road.”_

_“Fuckers… If they hadn’t resisted, now we wouldn’t have to carry them…”_

_“Who says we gotta carry them?” The last man laughed as he kicked He Tian’s body down the slope. Zhan Xi groaned and that drew the man’s eyes to him. “What, still awake? Let’s see if you can keep it up, then.”_

_Zhan Xi was aware that he was rolling down the slope, but before he could think of how to stop, his head hit something hard and the world went black..._

 

_* * *_

 

_“Are you awake?”_

_Zhan Xi opened his eyes and saw He Tian lying by his side. He tried to get up but a sharp pain at the back of his head made him dizzy._

_“Don’t move so suddenly. You’re covered in scratches. They cleaned your wound but you were bound to feel pain when you woke up.” He Tian shifted the weight of his body and turned to Zhan Xi. “Why did you come after me? I told Jian Yi to keep you away.”_

_Zhan Xi struggled to move with his hands and feet bound by tape. “I had to. You did it for Jian Yi, didn’t you? So that they wouldn’t take him.”_

_“He’s special to you, isn’t he?” He Tian asked. “I can tell by the looks you give him...”_

_“So are you,” Zhan Xi said. “You’re my friend. Our friend.”_

_He Tian smiled. “Zhan Zheng Xi, I need your hand down my pants.”_

_“What?”_

_“I hid Jian Yi’s phone there. I’m gonna try calling my brother, or at least, sending him our location.”_

_“How come they didn’t take it from you?”_

_“I had my phone on my hand when they attacked me. I guess they didn’t bother checking for another one. It’s a good thing they’re not perverts.”_

_Zhan Xi turned around and wriggled against He Tian’s body, sliding his hands down his stomach and into his pants. His fingers jerked as he touched He Tian’s dick instead, which made He Tian jolt and buck his hips. “Man…”_

_“Sorry. I got it...” He left it on the floor as He Tian wiggled down. “Can you---” A noise outside the room made him hold his breath. He Tian pressed his body against Zhan Xi’s back and they both closed their eyes. Someone stood on the other side of the door for what it seemed hours, and then they walked away. “Can you do it?” Zhan Xi whispered._

_“Yeah, I can do it with my nose… I hope I remember Brother’s number correctly.” The room was filled with a soft, slow tapping as He Tian sent He Cheng the location. As soon as he hit ‘send’, he turned off the phone and slipped it into Zhan Xi’s pants, right before the door opened._

_“Wake up, you two. We’ve brought some food for the princesses,” a man’s voice said._

_“I need to pee,” He Tian said, sitting up, giving Zhan Xi some time to turn on his back and sit up slowly._

_“Me too,” said Zhan Xi, but the man gave him a nasty grin._

_“One at a time. I’ll take care of your little friend here first,” he said._

 

_* * *_

 

_Zhan Xi woke up. They were in the back of a van. His sleepy eyes landed on He Tian, who was staring ahead, his jaw clenched. “Hey…” he said softly._

_He Tian flinched. “You’re up… Are you okay?”_

_“Why are we here?”_

_“I don’t know for sure, but sounds like they got tipped off. I guess Brother knows by now that he can’t go to the police for help. Once we’re in the next place, I’ll try contacting him again. I just hope we have enough time...”_

_“Everything hurts…” Zhan Xi groaned quietly._

_“They roughed you up. You shouldn’t have fought back. I was doing fine.”_

_Zhan Xi looked down. “We’re in this together.”_

_He Tian smirked. “This is what Jian Yi likes about you, isn’t it? You’re everyone’s savior, but you really don’t look after yourself. Are you really that selfless?”_

_“Jian Yi matters to me. So do you. And you really can’t talk. We’re here because you also wanted to protect him, aren’t we?” Zhan Xi cracked his neck and winced. “Shit, that hurts…”_

_“There’s a cut on your neck. Here, let me...” He Tian said, leaning in and licking Zhan Xi’s neck._

_“What are you doing?” Zhan Xi shivered and pulled away._

_“I was just cleaning it.” He Tian’s dark eyes were watching him with a mixture of concern and curiosity._

_“You don’t mind?” Zhan Xi asked._

_He Tian shook his head and looked into his eyes. “You don’t either, do you?”_

_Before Zhan Xi could reply, the van came to a stop._

 

_* * *_

 

_The smell of antiseptics filled his nostrils. He opened his eyes and stared at a white ceiling. Someone was dabbing a cold liquid on his arm. Zhan Xi winced and tried to sit up._

_“Don’t move,” He Tian’s voice said, and he put his hand on his chest to keep him lying down. “Let me finish with this, or Qiu will kill me.”_

_“We’re safe now,” Zhan Xi murmured._

_“We’re safe, yes,” He Tian replied._

_“Where’s Jian Yi?”_

_He Tian swallowed hard before replying. “His family sent him away right after we were taken. Brother says they traveled with him and they’re still overseas. I can understand why they did it. This could have been so much worse if he’d been the one kidnapped, or if he’d been on his own. But those guys are still out there, so it’s good that he has a family that want to protect him, isn’t it? And so do we. So did we. That’s why… Zhan Xi, don’t cry… I’ll be here for you, I promise. I won’t go away, so… We did the right thing, didn’t we?”_

 

**************

 

A knock on the door woke him up from his slumber. Zhan Xi held back a groan as he stood up, his body now sore after sleeping on the floor. He opened the door and stared at Mo Guan Shan.

“He Cheng gave me permission to see him,” Mo said firmly.

Zhan Xi snorted. “Sorry. You made it sound like I wouldn’t let you do it otherwise.” He stepped aside so that Mo would enter the loft. “You care about him, don't you? It’s not just a fuck.”

“It’s none of your business, really,” Mo replied. “But yeah. I care for him.”

“I see. Well, don’t jump him today. He’s still recovering, and---”

“Thank you,” Mo said, without a hint of irony, “for bringing him back. I know that you took care of him many times. I still don’t get what you guys wanna do, and I can't tell you not to do it, but… I guess it’s good that you two stick up for each other like this.”

“We made a promise many years ago. We’re just keeping it.” Zhan Xi turned to leave. “Tell him Qiu is coming to do that thing at noon. He’ll be in pain, so… It would be good if you could stay with him. I have somewhere else to be now.”

 

* * *

 

“You know, Pup,” He Tian said, his eyes still closed. “I can’t sleep if you’re staring like that.”

“Staring like what?”

“Like you wanna eat me.”

“Who would eat you? You’re a mess. So many bandages, you’re like a fucking mummy.”

He Tian let out a chuckle and rubbed his eyes. “Argh, the arm is killing me…”

“Wait, I’ll change the gauze. At least it’s not bleeding.” Guan Shan wrapped his fingers around He Tian’s wrist and watched the forearm. “It’s a good thing it’s not in a place you move that much. He Cheng told me... Are you really planning to get a tattoo there right now?”

“There’s no way I’ll go through the same pain twice, so yeah. What do you think I should get?”

“What do I know?”

“Tell me something about you,” He Tian said warmly. “Something you love or hate.”

“I hate my birthday. Nothing good happens on that day, not since I almost drowned.”

“Okaaay. And what do you love?”

“I think you.”

He Tian flicked him on the forehead. “You _think?”_

“Well, I’m not stupid enough to go after you if this is going to be some unrequited thing. I can’t do that. And if you keep trying to get yourself killed like this, it’d also be pretty stupid of me to cling---”

He Tian reached out and hung his arm around Mo’s neck, bringing him forward and making Mo rest his head on his bare chest. “It’s still beating, isn’t it? My heart. Still far from dead.”

Guan Shan felt the warmth of He Tian’s skin spread over his cheek and his face. “You smell like alcohol, and not the fun kind,” he said softly. He felt He Tian’s laughter rumbling in his chest and looked up. “I really wanna kiss you now.”

He Tian cocked his head. “What’s stopping you?”

“I told you I don’t do the unrequited thing.”

“Then make me change my mind.”

Guan Shan slid his hand up He Tian’s chest and neck, cupping his cheek in his palm. “You’d better kiss me back,” he said as he touched He Tian’s lips with his. Something stirred within him as he felt He Tian’s mouth pressed against his, as their lips parted and their tongues met.

What he’d wanted was finally his.

 

*** * * * * * * * * ***

 

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Feel free to check out the cards @bisho-s has made for me: https://graymalkyn.tumblr.com/post/178370071626/i-wanna-roll-with-him-a-hard-pair-we-will-be - I really love them!
> 
> Sorry for taking so long, and thank you for your support! It really means a lot to me.


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